I stand ankle deep in the ruddy slop of snow on the shoulder of the road, and watch the crush of cars flow on the road like piles of corrupted and vile blood of steel and plastic. The exhaust tastes filthy sweet in my nostrils and I look to the scabrous growths on the ground. Asphalt infections spreading out as far as I can see, its gross unity only interrupted by the cubed cancers, identical save for perverse glass and neon signs. And these cancers are worshipped like bloated and disgusting ancient gods. Their devout pile into them, giving whatever they can spare for the empty deific promise of betterment. Finding inner salvation through the teachings of these prophets for profit. They have grown to revere their chains, and cherish the horrid poisons of the mind and soul they take in.
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I wrote that back when I was grey a little while back..Something about it seems so incomplete, but I don't know what exactly I should do with it or where I should take it so that I don't end up ruining it. Any thoughts?
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I wrote that back when I was grey a little while back..Something about it seems so incomplete, but I don't know what exactly I should do with it or where I should take it so that I don't end up ruining it. Any thoughts?
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Watch out for your the way you pattern your adjectives (go through with a highlighter and you'll see what I mean--adj/noun, adj/noun, sometimes less is more). Also stray from any word that ends in "-tion": it means it's an abstract concept and thus both 1) vague 2) really hard to deal with.
Good that you are using smell and touch though. Too many people get stuck on sight.
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