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mana

Norway

SG Since 2004

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Tuesday Feb 08, 2005

Feb 7, 2005
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09.45Baby Ellis is sitting on the floor with his colorful Duplos. Blue Duplo is Budo, Red Duplo is Replo and that's all he needs to know. Baby Ellis smiles, Baby Ellis laughs, Baby Ellis builds his own world with Budo and Replo. With Budo and Replo combined, Baby Ellis gives you Rebuloland. This is the world he lives in. Baby Ellis is king.

First time I met Baby Ellis was a year ago. He crawled up my foot and bit my thigh and fell to the floor and landed on his Pampers, laughing, smiling, spitting sounds I didn't understand.

'Let me tell you a story, Baby Ellis.' Baby Ellis sits in silence, listening.

In twenty years time you will cry because you know you just can't help it and because it's as if it really makes you feel better in an awful kind of way. It will be on a Thursday. The radio will be playing the latest hit with the same sentence looping over and over. The way she smiles, the way I die, the way she lies, I taste the line, I tell a joke, she sighs. You cry because you miss her. She loved you and you loved her back. No more. Behind a closed door you keep your memories, the Budos, the Ruplos and a drawing of Rebuloland. You remember being king. Well, actually, you don't, but you think you do and that's quite enough. You think you want to die and because you do, you won't. Die.

Baby Ellis' mom walks into the room and interrupts my story. She was eavesdropping behind the door and she doesn't want her son to become whatever it is I am. I fake a smile and give her the finger behind my back. I wish I had the strength to kidnap this poor boy and give him the up bringing he deserves. Not that this girl's a bad mom or anything. I just haven't got a clue and I keep my thoughts to myself. That's a lie; I just like the way it sounds.

Don't ask me how I know Baby Ellis' mom. I don't. I only know Baby Ellis. I understand him and he understands me. He sits on the floor, smiling. He wants to hear the rest of the story, but he can't. Maternal censorship owns him. Nobody owns me. I'm free. I love crackers. I eat them with cheese. Sometimes I eat them plain. I like that too.

I prefer penetrating.

Now we're digging. What are we digging for? Give it a rest. Take it easy. Keep it cool. Sit. Play dead.

Play the new cd you just bought. Maybe you'll like it.

I have a vague childhood memory. Something about a Mattel truck I brought to a friend's house. His brother hid it from me and I never got it back. I wanted it back so bad. I think I still do and that's why I can't sleep.

I wish I kicked him in the ding dings. But if I had, Baby Ellis might never have been born. I'd give up all my Mattel toys for you, Baby Ellis. Even my favorite Pez. Mueslix Pez.

Life is funny. Not that I'm laughing or anything. I just acknowledge the fact: Life is funny. It truly is.

Now I'm laughing.

Something wierd is going on.

New pic in the "the set that never made it to the top" folder. enjoy! biggrin
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
akira069:
warsaw. your words are beautiful. your mind is beautiful. you are beautiful. love I love your writings, and you know that because I say it, always. because it's true. I want to lick you. tongue yum. you taste indescribable. you taste like time. you taste like the universe. you taste like life. I savour you. kiss kiss


loved your 'set' too, of course. wink
Feb 8, 2005
atomh8:
wow. I'm as impressed as always. It made me think about the stuff I used to play with when I was little, why I did it, and what it means. I don't really think about my childhood alot.....this is one of my favourite journals to read. smile

BTW, you are so beautiful. love
Feb 8, 2005

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