mana

So I guess it started snowing last night, cause I can't see the brownish-black asphalt anymore and I miss it already. I've never been a fan of winter and I'm not going to start now. But I wonder, how can I capture this moment in time, squeeze out its juices and let you get a taste of its smell?

I'm not in love, I'm not alone. This is how we feel. I can't make up for all my flaws, I can't change just because I should, I can't make your pain go away, I can't even reduce my own. We cannot learn without pain. I haven't learned a thing, yet the pain is getting worse. Have you ever tried thinking about nothing at all? Did you notice how it made your stomach querl? Do you want to know why?

Nah I guess I really am in love. In love and lonely.

There is a door and it's closed. If you open it, you're dead. The good thing is, you don't have to open it, you just need to know it's there. That door is your freedom, that door is death. Suicide is painless and that's why you learn nothing from it. Live your life, endure the pain, understand that we're in this together and see if you can find your place. You probably won't, but it's worth a shot.

Don't know why I'm writing this. Guess that things aren't they way I want them to be theese days.

I believe in happiness and I believe in pain.