i was struck this afternoon as i searched the internet for something to post on instagram for throwback thursday and came, yet again, to suicidegirls to find it: this place holds a lot of history for me. i was seventeen when i decided to apply to model, and eighteen when i did so. i'm twenty-eight now and it's been more than ten years since my first set went up. i've made so many friends through sg and it was such a fundamental force during those years i spent getting to know myself. whether for better or for worse, it is a part of my identity and a part of what has shaped me.
these days, as any of you who've checked in know, i don't visit much. i don't write here and i don't post photos anymore. i still haven't decided if i'll go see the burlesque show when it visits vancouver, where i live. i don't feel that sg is my present or my future; it is my past and it's just nostalgia now. it changed and i did not change along with it. i didn't keep up and now it is something alien to me. i don't have a place in it anymore. but it's nice to know that it is here when i want to visit it, and there is something steadfast about it - i feel like my history here will be preserved because the company and community have staying power.
here is what i look like these days:
