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malloreigh

Canada

SG Since 2003

Followers 6279 Following 203

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Monday Sep 22, 2008

Sep 22, 2008
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i love my best friends so much. i am truly blessed to have so many amazing people in my life. a little while ago (some time in early august), five of us got together to create this piece of art. let me know what you think.



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love. love. love.

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things that have impressed me lately... this myspace impersonator has invested untold amounts of time and energy into fabricating a life for [her?]self based on my photos. the sheer number of photographs of me that [she?] has on [her?] profile is astounding; in fact, i don't think i've ever seen a collection of my photos as extensive as this in one place. this person seems to have used at least three - and possibly more - of my online profiles for photo sourcing. there are a couple of photos in there that aren't me, but they are few and far between. according to this myspace profile, i have been to venice beach! italy! i get paid $10,000/3 hours for "gay modeling"! amazing. also, i can eat an entire pizza in one sitting, but yoga keeps me thin; i hope it's vegan pizza she's talking about.

please feel free to message and friend this profile.

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my life has been hectic lately to say the least. with five classes, several contract web-jobs, and family time, i have been burning out. i will survive til april, i'm sure of it, but i am having to sacrifice some of what keeps me vividly aflame. what are my problems?

i have too many good friends.
ah... how can i complain, really? when some people cannot find people that they relate to at all? when i, myself, have had that problem in the past - when i have felt so alone, at times, that i felt like i faded into the carpet, like i didn't really exist?

but it is hard. i want to spend time with everyone. i want to invest hours into every person that i love. i want to build our relationships, know them better... but i don't have the time.
hear that? it's the world's smallest violin... playing just for me.

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our six-month-anniversary celebrations were wonderful. thank you for asking. we ate the most amazing indian food i've ever had in my life (at GM restaurant in maple ridge - who knew?), had a bath with rose petals and candles, slept in, danced all night, starry-eyed, and cuddled. what a perfect romantic weekend. next time i'd like to take her away for the weekend... but our one-year celebration is so far away!

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musings... click the spoiler if you're interested, as i do like to go on... and on... and on.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
in april i'm finished school for the year. i have a few options at that point. i could continue, but without a clear goal/degree in mind, it seems silly to rack up more debt. i could relax, get a job to pay off my student loans and spend another summer in vancouver [as this just-passed summer was definitely the best of my entire life]. i could make good on my promises and move to portland with my girls where we'll spend our time riding bikes and cooking and being blissful. or...

or. i could do something that i KNOW will be good for me.
i could go... somewhere else. be alone. start over. give myself time and space to learn what i need and create my world in a way that keeps me sane. happy.
i could go... almost anywhere.

staying in canada is appealing because i can work so easily. i could stay if i chose to. i'd still have a support network close, and i'd have some friends no matter where i chose to transplant myself (assuming i chose a city over 100,000 residents).

leaving canada is appealing because it would be best for me, and i know that i have so much adventure to find. if i go to a commonwealth country i know that i can secure a year's working visa easily. choosing is a challenge. i could go somewhere totally foreign, with a new language and new customs, but i think i'd be so overwhelmed by the cultural differences that the effect of transplanting myself would be negated. and of course... my wistful heart yearns to go back to australia. the weather in sydney is really quite pleasant over winter. i think i just might do it.


what do you think?

what would you do in my situation?

VIEW 25 of 39 COMMENTS
scotty:
Come to Aus again smile
Oct 1, 2008
bendingunit23:
Hey you've exceeded the mighty Al's comments. In one way you've done more to shape this place than her.
Oct 1, 2008

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