malina

first and foremost... WATCH THIS

She's a confused little girl. She'd say she's full of angst, but that isn't it. I'm wondering now why I just refered to myself as a little girl. I think I overanalyse...


I hate the weekends.

I don't ever get to talk to him on the weekends, and it bums me out. So, I hate them.


I'm going to organize the thousands upon thousands of MP3s on my comp, seeing as other people download music on here too and I hate having to go through all of it to find what I want.


Champ111485 plays the trombone. And he is incredibly intelligent. And... I love him a little bit more everyday.

Haven't made my "non-dairy ice cream" yet. I'm going to try and get to that tomorrow.

let's see... what else...


and... a bit of writing from me to end this pointless post...

Ripples
Fascination grips me
As I point out my many scars to you
For this you loathe me.
Love
Proclaimed from so many
But you, you say to me
You love me unconditionally
without a doubt, or question.
But why?
Perhaps it is because you see
That which is within.
My meaningless skin, my prison
Conceals a heart
Equally scarred
Equally sick
Equally wrong.
And what if I said
My love comes with the scars?
Would your revulsion win over your care?
Would you turn your cheek in pity,
Would you lower your eyes in disgust,
Or would you try to mend the wounds?
In doing so you may
Engrave them deeper
Preserve them
As has been done before
I resist it, I fear it
Fear your spirit gathering
My dirty feathers from the ground
I deny it, I hide from it,
But I know that I'm the reason
For when I fell from my perfect dream
I tore them out to feel the sting
Only to mourn their loss.
Rise to the challenge and answer mine
Don't gloss me over - I am no goddess
Though for you I try to be
Tell me now, as I lie here bleeding, crying
Will you choose to fly, or choose to stay?
Your choice determines,
The reality from the dream.
I am trying to rise, I am fighting decay
But in the meantime remember,
Right now, in this moment...
I am not who I seem.


You have crowned me Queen.
Once upon a time,
I was Pandora...
Now I'm beautiful.
You thought that you could fix me.
And you did.
Stitching through
The broken skin
The forgotten dreams.
Blood seeped out,
You licked it clean.
Your love is healing me...


If you love me stop denying my failures
Don't tell me to stop being so hard on myself
You love me, yet loathe my scars
They are one, inside and out, eternally
Nothing, no time, no tears will make them fade
Do you not see? It makes no difference.
What I am doing without you right now is just a reflection,
Mirroring that which lies tenfold within.
How could you possibly love my heart and soul,
Unless you love the taste of life escaping?
It is slipping away even as I reach out my hand
To gather the pieces, scattered in bygone dimensions
Of my being, my spirit, my divinity.
I'm screaming, and someday everyone will hear me
But no one can help me, except you
And so I shed heart-beaten tears,
And look with hope towards another day.

I love you ♥