malice

I'm off for another week to Stealth_Moose's cottage. No internet, no TV. It will be bliss (except for the lack of naked girls).


Well, I've come to the conclusion that I have a really big problem with being around people.... It's kind of weird though, I feel just fine in a larger social gathering, but it's meeting someone one on one that freaks me out.
I think that I have trouble with the idea of being the constant focus. I feel really uncomfortable with that. With other people around, I'm not always the one that has to be talking or listening, I can take a break.
The bigger problem is my paranoia. I worry that something bad is going to happen...it has happened, so it appears that I have been conditioned to prepare for the worst: Avoid the situation all together....and I'm sorry...
I hope that I can think this through while I'm away, identify where this is coming from, or at least figure out how to overcome it. I'm realizing more and more that it's screwing a number of things up aside from friendships.
Thoughts, advice? Feel free, I'm clueless



As a side note, my new group got accepted:


See you all in a week, I'll have pictures to share, of course