Well, I haven't really let this community in on the terrible-ness of 2008...so I'm coming out with it.
A reflection on 2008:
January I reported that I had gotten a decent job, got a car again, happy happy joy joy.
Well, I lost that job in July, my fancy well paying foot-in-the-door job. I was sad, I was embarrassed. I felt worthless for a long time. I suppose this explains my absence from SG for pretty much the entire summer despite the few posts.
Not only had I lost my job, but due to the fact that said job had me sitting on my ass all day, I had put on weight, and pretty much hated myself at that point for a number of reasons.
I've been on Employment Insurance since. At the start, I had no desire to do anything. I hadn't hit rock bottom, but I certainly had no motivation to do anything but wait for that EI. At least I had some good friends around me to keep me distracted, but for a good long while, I mourned that job.
September I changed my hair, signed up for a couple of school courses, and thought that I was getting on track again. After a while I realized that I didn't get half the content in these said courses, and I soon lost my motivation.
I worked on my web server and web site, and I'm happy to say that it was probably my biggest accomplishment of 2008, if we aren't including those that failed miserably eventually (at least this one can't). Oh, and I lost 15lbs.
2008 ended with a rather enjoyable X-mas with the family, as well as an awesome New Year's Party.
Now, 2009, all I can think right now is "What the fucking shit am I going to do?"
The EI is running out in a week (I didn't realize it was so close), I've been scrambling to find a new job (unsuccessful so far). I need to re-new my license plate stickers ($), and my insurance ($$), and still manage to take care of the usual bills ($$$).
Of course, this is no surprise to me, but it is stressful as fuck. I have no idea how I'm going to do it without selling my car, which is going to limit my options for work quite a fair bit.
I read back to my old journal entries, and realized that I've been going in an utterly terrible "rut" (if I can call it that) for at least 5 years now. I'm saddened that things just haven't gotten better yet, or when they have been good it hasn't lasted for very long.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I'm so tired.
A reflection on 2008:
January I reported that I had gotten a decent job, got a car again, happy happy joy joy.
Well, I lost that job in July, my fancy well paying foot-in-the-door job. I was sad, I was embarrassed. I felt worthless for a long time. I suppose this explains my absence from SG for pretty much the entire summer despite the few posts.
Not only had I lost my job, but due to the fact that said job had me sitting on my ass all day, I had put on weight, and pretty much hated myself at that point for a number of reasons.
I've been on Employment Insurance since. At the start, I had no desire to do anything. I hadn't hit rock bottom, but I certainly had no motivation to do anything but wait for that EI. At least I had some good friends around me to keep me distracted, but for a good long while, I mourned that job.
September I changed my hair, signed up for a couple of school courses, and thought that I was getting on track again. After a while I realized that I didn't get half the content in these said courses, and I soon lost my motivation.
I worked on my web server and web site, and I'm happy to say that it was probably my biggest accomplishment of 2008, if we aren't including those that failed miserably eventually (at least this one can't). Oh, and I lost 15lbs.
2008 ended with a rather enjoyable X-mas with the family, as well as an awesome New Year's Party.
Now, 2009, all I can think right now is "What the fucking shit am I going to do?"
The EI is running out in a week (I didn't realize it was so close), I've been scrambling to find a new job (unsuccessful so far). I need to re-new my license plate stickers ($), and my insurance ($$), and still manage to take care of the usual bills ($$$).
Of course, this is no surprise to me, but it is stressful as fuck. I have no idea how I'm going to do it without selling my car, which is going to limit my options for work quite a fair bit.
I read back to my old journal entries, and realized that I've been going in an utterly terrible "rut" (if I can call it that) for at least 5 years now. I'm saddened that things just haven't gotten better yet, or when they have been good it hasn't lasted for very long.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I'm so tired.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
I'm sorry to hear '08 was so terrible. Here's to '09 being better!
I really hope you get everything you need to sorted out in terms of your car and your job and stuff. When you're in the city next we should hangout.
Thanks so much for the lovely comment you left on my new set. It means bunches.
Love you lots, and chin up. Things can only stay bad for so long before something good is bound to happen.
xox
Are you going to the pre gala? Maybe we can see eachother before then.