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malenka

Member Since 2006

Followers 115 Following 50

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Tuesday May 09, 2006

May 8, 2006
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How weird that in the space of a few hours while I was at work, I come home to find 5 SG private message things... three are friend requests from guys I've never met, and 2 are "you're hot" messages from guys I've never met.

I find that creepy, and I wonder what happened today that caused 5 guys to find me all at once. Was a new feature added? Or a batch of new members on the prowl? I know I posted a pic the other day but that pic was up for a day before I got the creepies... and other pics didn't attract the creepies like this.

Don't take the term "creepies" personally... I just don't talk to or accept friendships from Myspace collectors and the like. It's not necessarily creepy to make these advances... but I'm not going to respond to them regardless.


So. Other stuff.

The party this weekend was lots of fun... I should have gotten there much earlier because I missed out on the Meat on Sticks and also there were people that left early that I didn't see enough of or didn't see at all. I will post pictures when I get around to it.

This part is a bunch of crap you don't have to read.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I'm in a contemplative mood tonight. I'm thinking of that guy that I've been spending time with lately. As much as I like him, I think that perhaps he's not healthy for me. I know he's not going to be around for long, and I know that I am going to trick myself into thinking he will be. Is it worth it to pretend he cares about me, so I can be happy for a little while? It's so silly but I think this way sometimes. I'm so needy. I feel like when I have a boyfriend, I am safe because even if terrible things happen or I'm miserable for no reason, I know that someone at least cares about that. Someone who will call me or he will answer the phone when I call. And even more importantly someone to hug me all the time and make me feel worthy. Some people think that's a weakness, that I need other people to make me happy. I think it's normal.
The point is, I think I might have to tell this boy I can't see him any more unless he wants to give me some sort of assurance that he cares. Because it matters to me. I refuse to be used. I don't want to be just a fuck buddy. That's what the last one did to me and it hurt.
I'll see him tomorrow and probably never mention this. What goes on in my brain at 3am is not always relevant to normal conversation.
Ok I'm done with this topic.



One of my cow orkers was a no-show two days in a row. I will probably have to pick up some of her shifts if she gets fired. And who will cover my days off when I need them? I'm concerned.

I've been reading again. Yesterday I read "Joy Luck Club" and today I read most of "The Bunyip Archives" by James E. Schutte. That's a weird one I picked up in the discount section at B&N. Not a great novel by any means, but still very entertaining. I picked it up this morning because EvilFlapjack text messaged me about it last night.

There are other books here that I will read next, but soon I must hit up B&M with a $25 gift card and Borders with a $10 card... and I'll find more to read. And probably I'll stop by Abbie's Book Case in Southampton for some cheap used stuff.

Sorry this journal has no pictures. Maybe I'll add one tomorrow morning. I'm gonna go finish the Bunyip book.

Hehe... wait, here's something...
I got this from one of the News items linked at the top of the page. It's a live Alice Cooper video from earlier this year. The songs he does here are from "Welcome to My Nightmare", which was one of my favorite records when I was a little girl. Picture me maybe nine or ten years old, lying on the floor in the living room under the speakers, with the record jacket in my hands, reading the lyrics and singing along. I know that album by heart. The child version of me made up visual images to go along with the songs... like a movie that plays inside my head. Watching this video was kinda weird though... corrupts my inner movie. And what the fuck is with that spastic girl in the nightgown? whatever

It's okay, I still love you, Alice.

VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
stewfnrocker:
you rock!!! thanks for the birthday wishes... oh I thought you were lookin F... I... N... E... FINE on saturday. those guys may be creepies but they have an eye for good women wink
May 9, 2006
fierhauk:
yea... you r teh hawt... gotta get used to lurkers when your profile pic is so enticing...

May 10, 2006

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