There's nothing better than homemade porn. The term "for your eyes only" really does apply when the missus and I take the time to pretend that we fuck for a living. Good times... On a related note, I have a headache. How's that related to homemade porn? That's for you to figure out. Hint: It doesn't. I'm just stupid.
Our prized fish Cunt died. She was looking real terrible these past few days, but it still made me gasp in surprise when I saw her floating this morning. I don't think I ever took a picture of her... That sucks. She'll now only reside in the cluttered warehouse that is my shrinking brain. Lord knows there's plenty for her to do in there. The...
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doxie:
Maury is definitely still around. I love Maury.
Sorry to hear about your fishie
Sorry to hear about your fishie
It is June. That makes me sad. I hate summer, save for the wonderful evenings. You know, when the sun's gone to bed. Yeah... The summer heat in Sacramento is to be avoided. I like where I live and I admit I'm lazy when it comes to the idea of moving from my home town, but the summer months really get me considering it more...
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Today, while grocery shopping, my wife and I were in line behind the Beast from "Kung-Fu Hustle"! I'm fucking serious! The dude had the same scowl of a face, the terrible balding pattern and the lousy suit he'd sported in the movie just before he went all bullfrog on Stephen Chow's ass. He was buying a lot of chocolate bars. Beast indeed! I didn't have...
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I stubbed my toe today. I realize that's a common occurrence, but, man! That fucking hurt. It wasn't even a Luke Skywalker direct hit, you know? Like, boom goes the Death Star direct hit? No, it was a glancing hit. Maybe that's why it hurt so badly? I think the point of all of this is that I don't like pain. Pain, like, sucks, man....
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escapeodt:
Aye, tell me about it...I've been labelled a fag for as long as i can remember. i mean, i appreciate that I act perhaps a little more feminine than most guys do, but its still no reason to judge. i suppose like you, it doesn't really stir up much of a reaction from me anymore...it just pisses me off to think that people can be so narrow minded, y'know?
oh, and sorry to hear about the toe stubbing incident... =/ it's a bitch when that happens...second most annoying injury after paper cuts!
oh, and sorry to hear about the toe stubbing incident... =/ it's a bitch when that happens...second most annoying injury after paper cuts!
What makes a man resent his wife? Maybe this isn't the best place to write this nonsense, but it's not like anyone reads it anyway. My wife drives me nuts sometimes and that's the simple truth. It's inevitable, isn't it; to have that reaction to someone you have such a close proximity (I just looked that word up and I spelled it right!) with? Isn't...
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clio:
Haha, send my regards to your eyes and I wish them well. Enjoy! 
Today, I walked into a car shop and asked the clerk, who was staring at a computer screen, if they repaired valve stems, since mine had a crack in it. He looked at me briefly and said, "Nope." I then asked if he knew a close spot where I could get it done. In my mind, he said, "Does the store front say Yellow Pages...
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I saw "Silent Hill" the other day. You know when you're watching a horror film when the main characters start making impossibly illogical decisions as things start getting weird. Hell, this movie had one major dumb-dumb decision made before my eyes had even adjusted to the dark. The happy couple who had adopted a daughter, having apparently discovered she's a crazy little sleep walker, had...
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"The Notorious Bettie Page" was great! My wife has a bonner for Bettie Page, so I thought it would be an automatic request for me to be dragged to see this film. However, when I brought up the possibility of seeing it together, she merely shrugged it off. I was a little surprised. Ms. Page isn't my cup of tea (I'd crawl over her to...
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Tool's new album comes out today. I have a pretty limited scope of fanfare for musicians out there today, so my taste tends to instill in me a big time loyalty to any artist (be it musician, author, actor, director, artist, hot nude chick, and so on...) that would require a suckiness output of a considerable size to get me to part ways with them....
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I love it how in The Omen Damien ends up being the president's god son. What do you think that means...?
Basically the kid's father is a politician and the president's god son, so when Damien becomes an orphan the president is the child's (god) father. I liked this a lot because it makes perfect sense that Damien would be raised in this environment, politics being the most effective way to destroy mankind.