Animals are funny...
-Steve Irwin wasn't alone. In October of 2006, off the coast of Boca Raton, Florida, a man named James Bertakis was on a boat. A giant stingray leapt from the water and landed on James' lap (no joke), paused a moment, and stabbed him through the heart and killed him. Witnesses said the stingray flexed its tail a few times before conducting the killing strike.
-Elephants rape rhinoceroses. Again, no joke. I wonder if the bible can explain that? Elephants have also killed thousands of people in less than the past decade. Cool, huh?
-In Bombay, in 2007, a pack of leopards came down from the forest into a small town and killed a total of twenty-two people. Officials, in hopes of calming the beasts, released hundreds of little pigs and rabbits into the forest to appease the appetites of the big cats.
-Again, in 2007, a pack of 200 hundred dogs descended from the mountains into the town of Mamurras, Albania and began attacking people. These weren't wild beasts, but rather simple strays.
-In India, on one of the country's busiest highways, traffic has been brought to a halt by groups of monkeys, sometimes at numbers totaling 2,000 at a time.
-Evolution accelerates in heat. Colder climate organisms evolve far slower than their warmer climate counterparts. Uh, no deaths or mayhem in this tidbit... Sorry.
-In Africa, in 2000, in the height of severe drought conditions, in the country of Kenya near the Somali border, a pack of monkeys attacked a truck hauling water. The monkeys used weapons like rocks to defend themselves and were intelligent enough to work the valves(!) to get to the water. Villagers had to hack at several monkeys with machetes to get them to flee.
I got all this shit from a GQ magazine article written by some guy named J.J. Sullivan. Animals are going to kill all us motherfuckers. Neato!
-Steve Irwin wasn't alone. In October of 2006, off the coast of Boca Raton, Florida, a man named James Bertakis was on a boat. A giant stingray leapt from the water and landed on James' lap (no joke), paused a moment, and stabbed him through the heart and killed him. Witnesses said the stingray flexed its tail a few times before conducting the killing strike.
-Elephants rape rhinoceroses. Again, no joke. I wonder if the bible can explain that? Elephants have also killed thousands of people in less than the past decade. Cool, huh?
-In Bombay, in 2007, a pack of leopards came down from the forest into a small town and killed a total of twenty-two people. Officials, in hopes of calming the beasts, released hundreds of little pigs and rabbits into the forest to appease the appetites of the big cats.
-Again, in 2007, a pack of 200 hundred dogs descended from the mountains into the town of Mamurras, Albania and began attacking people. These weren't wild beasts, but rather simple strays.
-In India, on one of the country's busiest highways, traffic has been brought to a halt by groups of monkeys, sometimes at numbers totaling 2,000 at a time.
-Evolution accelerates in heat. Colder climate organisms evolve far slower than their warmer climate counterparts. Uh, no deaths or mayhem in this tidbit... Sorry.
-In Africa, in 2000, in the height of severe drought conditions, in the country of Kenya near the Somali border, a pack of monkeys attacked a truck hauling water. The monkeys used weapons like rocks to defend themselves and were intelligent enough to work the valves(!) to get to the water. Villagers had to hack at several monkeys with machetes to get them to flee.
I got all this shit from a GQ magazine article written by some guy named J.J. Sullivan. Animals are going to kill all us motherfuckers. Neato!