I'm not Charles Foster Kane, but nonetheless...
A Proclamation of Principals:
1) I will never discuss personal issues with anyone other than my wife ever again; this includes family members.
Essentially, I'm sick of half-baked advice, hearing what I've come to expect, or even advice coming out of left field with something completely unfathomable and unrelated (Hi, mom!). I've become tired of being a whiner, too. I hope this proclamation will nip this neediness in the bud.
2) I will never apologize for who I am; and, I will never be made to feel bad for who I am.
I am who I am. When I was young, this was a difficult pill to swallow. I wanted to be different from what I was; I wanted to conform. Now, I could give a fuck about you and your crowd of sheep. However, recent events have weighed heavily on me because I am "boring" or "plain" or such nonsense. I have gone to bed hating myself. I have doubted my convictions. I have avoided eye contact with the mirror. I have even tried to change. To what gains? Misery and depression. Fuck it. And fuck you. I've found my spine again... I just need to remember how to use it.
3) Might does not make right in the war that is love.
Being louder, more stubborn, more properly articulated, precise in insults, moodier, more absent, or (God forbid!) more just in arguments with my wife really amounts to shit. It's immature and childish (it deserved repeating). It's okay to fight in relationships. In fact, it's expected. Just don't be a dick.
4) Jesus was right, dammit!
Certainly, do unto others as blah, blah, blah... It's such sound advice that it is easy to mock it. The truth still rings, however. I cannot expect much of my wife these days and it kills me. Yet, to say such things is to sell her way short. She is a good woman, but it seems she's not of sound mind these past ten months. When I point out her defeciencies, she rattles off mine. When I feel we're gaining ground, she falls back down. When I want things from her, tender things, she wants the same. I don't know much anymore of the stability of my marriage, but I know, despite all of my wife's failings, that I can do more. I should be doing more. It is worth it. And, uh... she deserves it. So, like Jesus said one fine day (I assume), I will give my wife what I hope to receive: love, in its many varied forms, whether it be time, space, trust, money, an ear to bend, a warm body to hold, a foot to rub, a good meal, sex, consideration, or, well, whatever. All of these things I want. So, I will give it instead. This, I believe, will make me a stronger man.
5) I will tell my wife when she is fucking up.
It seems ridiculous, but my wife is so wrapped up in her head lately, dwelling on much that really doesn't matter (who doesn't?), that she is surprised when she fucks up. Fine. So, I'll tell her. The trick is not getting mad (see: proclamation #4). The trick is not losing patience when she fucks up again. For example: My wife rarely helps out around the apartment. She hasn't cooked in weeks, by my recollection. She's lazy. I have been carrying the load. My greatest temptation has been to let the whole fucking thing go to pot, but my cleanliness prevails in the end. So, to help my cause, I will start asking Shannon to do things. If she gets bent out of shape, well... fuck her, then. Ah... sorry, proclamation #4. My bad. Anyway, Shannon has asked for me to do this. I guess I'm through being baffled by the bizarre request and am now willing to give it a go.
6) Creativity is a burden only if you think it is.
And, it isn't. If I die with all these stories in my head, that's the world's loss, not mine. Oftentimes, my desire to create is hinged on my ego. That, I'm afraid, is plain wrong and simply will not be tolerated. Henceforth, I will create because I fucking feel like it.
7) Enjoy life, you bastard.
Easier said than done, but when devoid of negative emotional influence (like, say... marriage), it's very easy to achieve. Speak up the good things, Helmet once sang. It's true, so I need to start living it.
A Proclamation of Principals:
1) I will never discuss personal issues with anyone other than my wife ever again; this includes family members.
Essentially, I'm sick of half-baked advice, hearing what I've come to expect, or even advice coming out of left field with something completely unfathomable and unrelated (Hi, mom!). I've become tired of being a whiner, too. I hope this proclamation will nip this neediness in the bud.
2) I will never apologize for who I am; and, I will never be made to feel bad for who I am.
I am who I am. When I was young, this was a difficult pill to swallow. I wanted to be different from what I was; I wanted to conform. Now, I could give a fuck about you and your crowd of sheep. However, recent events have weighed heavily on me because I am "boring" or "plain" or such nonsense. I have gone to bed hating myself. I have doubted my convictions. I have avoided eye contact with the mirror. I have even tried to change. To what gains? Misery and depression. Fuck it. And fuck you. I've found my spine again... I just need to remember how to use it.
3) Might does not make right in the war that is love.
Being louder, more stubborn, more properly articulated, precise in insults, moodier, more absent, or (God forbid!) more just in arguments with my wife really amounts to shit. It's immature and childish (it deserved repeating). It's okay to fight in relationships. In fact, it's expected. Just don't be a dick.
4) Jesus was right, dammit!
Certainly, do unto others as blah, blah, blah... It's such sound advice that it is easy to mock it. The truth still rings, however. I cannot expect much of my wife these days and it kills me. Yet, to say such things is to sell her way short. She is a good woman, but it seems she's not of sound mind these past ten months. When I point out her defeciencies, she rattles off mine. When I feel we're gaining ground, she falls back down. When I want things from her, tender things, she wants the same. I don't know much anymore of the stability of my marriage, but I know, despite all of my wife's failings, that I can do more. I should be doing more. It is worth it. And, uh... she deserves it. So, like Jesus said one fine day (I assume), I will give my wife what I hope to receive: love, in its many varied forms, whether it be time, space, trust, money, an ear to bend, a warm body to hold, a foot to rub, a good meal, sex, consideration, or, well, whatever. All of these things I want. So, I will give it instead. This, I believe, will make me a stronger man.
5) I will tell my wife when she is fucking up.
It seems ridiculous, but my wife is so wrapped up in her head lately, dwelling on much that really doesn't matter (who doesn't?), that she is surprised when she fucks up. Fine. So, I'll tell her. The trick is not getting mad (see: proclamation #4). The trick is not losing patience when she fucks up again. For example: My wife rarely helps out around the apartment. She hasn't cooked in weeks, by my recollection. She's lazy. I have been carrying the load. My greatest temptation has been to let the whole fucking thing go to pot, but my cleanliness prevails in the end. So, to help my cause, I will start asking Shannon to do things. If she gets bent out of shape, well... fuck her, then. Ah... sorry, proclamation #4. My bad. Anyway, Shannon has asked for me to do this. I guess I'm through being baffled by the bizarre request and am now willing to give it a go.
6) Creativity is a burden only if you think it is.
And, it isn't. If I die with all these stories in my head, that's the world's loss, not mine. Oftentimes, my desire to create is hinged on my ego. That, I'm afraid, is plain wrong and simply will not be tolerated. Henceforth, I will create because I fucking feel like it.
7) Enjoy life, you bastard.
Easier said than done, but when devoid of negative emotional influence (like, say... marriage), it's very easy to achieve. Speak up the good things, Helmet once sang. It's true, so I need to start living it.
rys:
"Insert heartfelt reply here". I like your style 