I saw "Silent Hill" the other day. You know when you're watching a horror film when the main characters start making impossibly illogical decisions as things start getting weird. Hell, this movie had one major dumb-dumb decision made before my eyes had even adjusted to the dark. The happy couple who had adopted a daughter, having apparently discovered she's a crazy little sleep walker, had decided to stay in their fancy home near a busy road and a cliff. Makes sense, right? The stupidity of the characters goes downhill from there, but don't let that discourage you. "Silent Hill" is fucking creepy. I love the video game series, almost too much (don't ask how many times I've cleared each version of the series), so I had a giddy head when I and my wife sat down to watch the film. To be honest, I walked away quite satisfied. Was it a great movie? Of course not. Was it a great horror film? Well, yeah. Horror films, in general, suck. See above for one reason why. Aside from how stupid people are in horror films, there's also just the basic set up and pay off cycles that repeat over and over again. Chick gets lost, things get quiet, she gets startled by something non-threatening, then--BAM!-- scary dude with a spork! Also, the lead character's always a chick. That fact, I admit, bugged me in this film only because a woman is the central character only once in the video game series; and that's when they got up to the third version (Hi, Heather! Miss you! Bet you miss me, too! Remember when we killed that nasty old God monster? Whoo-boy, was that weird or what, girl?) So, anyway, Silent Hill wasn't too original for a horror flick, but it was disturbing enough to make it worthwhile. Hell, it was way disturbing. Why sell it short? Oh, and it's got some serious gore, so leave the newborn at home, okay? Please? Just for once, you trailer trash? Why? Why bring your newborn to a movie? Why not wait until it's out on DVD? Why suffer us through the newborn's dirty diaper wails? Why? Er, sorry... Old bone to pick, that's all... Theatres suck these days because of the people that sit inside them. Open your fucking candy before the movie starts. Turn off your fucking phone! Quit talking! Erk! Sorry again. People really, really suck sometimes. Then, something nice happens, and you realize that they're good all over again until--BAM!-- they let you down again. Hey, just like friendships!
