maleficentmoi

My friend Zach has come to a momentous decision: he can live without his estranged girlfriend. This is indeed a big deal, considering how many of us can relate to the life stuck in pause sensation of waiting for someone you care for to return the favor. Things like this remind me of the cruelty that is love and how we, as weak spirited sponges,...
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My wife is convinced that I hate people. After much deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that she is wrong; I do not hate people. What is left to me, realizing this important fact, is the question of why my wife would believe such silly things. The answer is simple: she wants to. Essentially, it makes her bullshit easier for her to swallow.

It...
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I have a new car. I hate saying that. I actually tried to ride a bike fourteen miles to and back from work... once. I got a flat on Northgate Boulevard and that was that. Also, I almost puked a couple of times, almost got hit by a car once, and was so exhausted from the ride that I had to drive the company van...
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Words alone cannot do what motion pictures can to perfection. Truly, the best thing about living on this planet is the female of the human species. Wow...





Kleio is the best thing on this website.

I have no car. What an amazing statement. To my wife, it's exciting. To appreciate this opinion, one only need know that tomorrow is her twenty-seventh birthday and she's yet to get a driver's license. Me? I'm in full-blown panic mode. My world has suddenly shrunk to mere miles. I knew that this day was coming for some time, but nonetheless... Denial isn't just a...
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I'm not Charles Foster Kane, but nonetheless...

A Proclamation of Principals:

1) I will never discuss personal issues with anyone other than my wife ever again; this includes family members.

Essentially, I'm sick of half-baked advice, hearing what I've come to expect, or even advice coming out of left field with something completely unfathomable and unrelated (Hi, mom!). I've become tired of being a whiner,...
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My wife resembles her mother more and more with each passing day. True, she has a far more rational head on her shoulders, but her decisions against type nonetheless frighten me. Inebriation is the rule of the day for her everyday, be it alcohol or weed. The weed I can handle, but she does it every fucking day. I can't recall Shannon's last truly sober...
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Star Wars. Thirty years ago. Wow... I've had a helluva long bonner for Princess Leia! Little help, your highness?

I am a picture of pure lethargy. I have no ambition. My creative impulse is nothing more than a dried up sheet of snotty tissue paper in a dusty trash bin. It is the sheer craziness that has housed with me and my wife that is to blame. My wife, the center of my world, drives me crazy. The past six months have been so...
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I have never been stoned. Never. My only altered states of reality have come via a dentist visit or a severe lack of sleep. This venture into a new world was something I felt like doing because I've been a blue man for so long these past weeks that I felt like putting the shit on pause. So, I did...

My wife and I have...
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"Sirens calling,
just outside,
to take my heart down,
in the coming tide."