I feel like I'm on an emotional diet, and right now, I broke it.
Like gorging on a packet of tim tams, I've indulged in feelings of failure, hopelessness, and the aftertaste of falling back into repetitive patterns of thought and behaviour.
It's hard going, you know. Being well. Being. .. happy. It's a precious thing, when the thing you most struggle against is yourself.
I'm impatient and raw today, heavy, difficult with Mum, and generally feeling flat, alongside a little bit trapped. It's one of those days when I desperately wish I still had my car, so I could hit the road, even if only for a day, and spend time in National Park. Chill and breathe.
A little bit of these feelings are normal, but while I've broken my good habits, I'm blowing out on the bad.
There's nothing unusual about this week to tip me off either. Other than work being full-on, but it's always full on and I'm actively trying to remain level-headed during this time as I search for other opportunities. I understand this to be a time of lessons and of transition.
The boy and I are good, fumbling our way along in the dark, adjusting our eyes to the light, being open, being loving, being true no matter how hard that is - so nothing heartbroken there.
It's not too disastrous, thankfully. As long as I stay sober, sleep well, meditate, be orgnaised. The crazy thing is I have so much beauty in my life.
My world today consists of sleeping in, making chai to sip slowly, and catching up on interwebs time. Later on, I'm drinking a glass of champagne and reading tarot cards with my mentor, and tomorrow I'm weaving baskets at a workshop with my good friend Anaheke, at Northey Street City Farm. I've also got my ex-boyfriend's, sister's baby shower, and have just got in contact with Clarissa Bones, an amazing fetish/gothic/surrealist photographer who asked me to model for her in July, after one of my life modelling gigs at The Fringe Bar.
Conjure is also having a thing tonight, which I very much want to go to, but I'll see how I'm feeling. A party might not be such a good idea when my soul feels worn out.
Ideas for my shoot with Clarissa:
I really want to do a shoot that incorporates text over my body. I originally was inspired by a Lou Reed album cover, but found that Annika has enacted a similar idea. Thoughts?
Like gorging on a packet of tim tams, I've indulged in feelings of failure, hopelessness, and the aftertaste of falling back into repetitive patterns of thought and behaviour.
It's hard going, you know. Being well. Being. .. happy. It's a precious thing, when the thing you most struggle against is yourself.
I'm impatient and raw today, heavy, difficult with Mum, and generally feeling flat, alongside a little bit trapped. It's one of those days when I desperately wish I still had my car, so I could hit the road, even if only for a day, and spend time in National Park. Chill and breathe.
A little bit of these feelings are normal, but while I've broken my good habits, I'm blowing out on the bad.
There's nothing unusual about this week to tip me off either. Other than work being full-on, but it's always full on and I'm actively trying to remain level-headed during this time as I search for other opportunities. I understand this to be a time of lessons and of transition.
The boy and I are good, fumbling our way along in the dark, adjusting our eyes to the light, being open, being loving, being true no matter how hard that is - so nothing heartbroken there.
It's not too disastrous, thankfully. As long as I stay sober, sleep well, meditate, be orgnaised. The crazy thing is I have so much beauty in my life.
My world today consists of sleeping in, making chai to sip slowly, and catching up on interwebs time. Later on, I'm drinking a glass of champagne and reading tarot cards with my mentor, and tomorrow I'm weaving baskets at a workshop with my good friend Anaheke, at Northey Street City Farm. I've also got my ex-boyfriend's, sister's baby shower, and have just got in contact with Clarissa Bones, an amazing fetish/gothic/surrealist photographer who asked me to model for her in July, after one of my life modelling gigs at The Fringe Bar.
Conjure is also having a thing tonight, which I very much want to go to, but I'll see how I'm feeling. A party might not be such a good idea when my soul feels worn out.
Ideas for my shoot with Clarissa:
I really want to do a shoot that incorporates text over my body. I originally was inspired by a Lou Reed album cover, but found that Annika has enacted a similar idea. Thoughts?
The chai and internet sounds like the best bet. Perhaps I should partake of such a remedy