I really hate when people say "things can't get any worse" cause as I've come to learn. they can.
i have currently been going through very hard times.
my aunt died about 2 weeks ago, and the worst part of all that was that these people who are in their 80s cant put aside their petty differences to call the few remaining relatives. my aunt in jersey called my aunt in California to call my grandfather because shes too fucking immature to just call him and say our sister died.but hey at least they let him know, when his only brother died they didn't even call and let him know when the burial was until about 2 months later.
so then last week my grandmother fell in the street and broke her nose, and my grandfather has gone completely blind. i worry about them all the time, about them hurting themselves or falling or just being sad. i dont want to lose them. besides my mother they're the only family i have and it scares me every day but also makes me sad that they are so miserable.
on top of all that my mother lost her job and the person i was working for refuses to pay me the over 400 dollars they owe me for working. so needless to say i cant pay this semester tuition and in turn cant schedule next semesters classes or even know I'm gonna go to school next semester.
Really? whats the point?
I am just depressed. things look so bleak right now and its my favorite time of year or at least it was. but fuck it now. i just want to kill myself and not deal with things. or just cut myself or something.
or something.
i have currently been going through very hard times.
my aunt died about 2 weeks ago, and the worst part of all that was that these people who are in their 80s cant put aside their petty differences to call the few remaining relatives. my aunt in jersey called my aunt in California to call my grandfather because shes too fucking immature to just call him and say our sister died.but hey at least they let him know, when his only brother died they didn't even call and let him know when the burial was until about 2 months later.
so then last week my grandmother fell in the street and broke her nose, and my grandfather has gone completely blind. i worry about them all the time, about them hurting themselves or falling or just being sad. i dont want to lose them. besides my mother they're the only family i have and it scares me every day but also makes me sad that they are so miserable.
on top of all that my mother lost her job and the person i was working for refuses to pay me the over 400 dollars they owe me for working. so needless to say i cant pay this semester tuition and in turn cant schedule next semesters classes or even know I'm gonna go to school next semester.
Really? whats the point?
I am just depressed. things look so bleak right now and its my favorite time of year or at least it was. but fuck it now. i just want to kill myself and not deal with things. or just cut myself or something.
or something.
sofreshsoclean:
you'll be ok, just don't give into the chaos. embrace it. you'll be able to handle it. sending you good vibes.
lolablu:
I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. A lot really has been going on for you, so you feelings make sense. I'm sure your mom and your grandparents, whom you care about a lot, care just as much about you, so hang in there for them if you feel like you can't do it for yourself.