makebelieve

Over it. Yeah, you think it is too fast. But a lot of chatting with friends, and a lot of thought and realization enlightened me. I wasn't in love, I was in lust, infatuated, it was familiar and nice. Don't get me wrong, I loved talking to him and hanging out with him. But he was a transition guy. He helped me get over my ex, who I was in love with for six years. (Funny enough, the ex was the one who got me over him. It's complicated. I recycle guys). But I'm so cool now, it's weird. I feel great! I moved out here for a new start. New town, new job, new life. I was hanging onto an idea that this relationship was meant to be. But then I found out, people don't change.

So I move on. I was afraid when this ended I'd just go back to the ex, like I had been doing when this fling was rocky. But now, for the first time in almost NINE years, I am NOT attached emotionally to any guy. Free as a bird says John. I'm happy. I love my job. I don't drink, I don't cut. I get tattoos, dye my hair, paint my nails, do whatever I want. I don't have to dress the part of someones girlfriend. I no longer have to wait around for someone to call to brighten my day. I talk to my friends now, my REAL friends, who don't lie to or manipulate me.

And if you read this, I do NOT get down on myself. I've been happy, and I am happier without you in my life. You were what was bringing me down. And now my real friends will bring me back up. And I will too. And my therapist.

On a completely different note, my friend Jess is having a "Field Day" party in May. It's gonna be like those days in elementary school, where ya know, everyone does all these silly games, like horseshoes, potato sack races, tug of war, stuff like that. Only with beer! I'm so excited, I'll get to see everyone. I miss my friends. It's amazing how we've managed to maintain our friendships for ten years. In the end, you always go back to the beginning.

Except with ex boyfriends, that is.

Bedtime fools!



Read between the lines!!