So, spent the weekend in Ithaca. I've decided I seriously want to move up there. What have I got to lose? Right now, I live in a horrible sprawl of a suburb, and work a mediocre job. I have friends, and I like them and enjoy spending time with them, but... I'm still lonely in a way that I'm not when I'm with R. I almost stayed there this time: I was this close to it. I still don't know what made me come back: when you've been foundering in life for the past three months, wondering what's missing, then you find it, why would you then get in the car and drive 6 hours back in the other direction?
Superego, I guess. I should do something about that.
I don't feel like my friends really listen to me sometimes... I really like them, but ultimately I'm just playing counselor or sympathetic ear a lot of the time, and the rest is just banter. When I want to talk, they just sort of patiently endure and then go back to talking about themselves. I may be giving up what social life I have here in Maryland, but to me, it's worth it to have one person who really listens, and cares, and understands.
Superego, I guess. I should do something about that.
I don't feel like my friends really listen to me sometimes... I really like them, but ultimately I'm just playing counselor or sympathetic ear a lot of the time, and the rest is just banter. When I want to talk, they just sort of patiently endure and then go back to talking about themselves. I may be giving up what social life I have here in Maryland, but to me, it's worth it to have one person who really listens, and cares, and understands.
