Coucou tout le monde !
I promised you some updates, and here comes the first one ✨
Some of you may know, I was this school year achieving my dance studies. I already had what we call a "master" in France - the step before the PhD - in philosophe, and I was to validate another one in dance studies.
My project was to achieve that, and then try to enter a PhD in that field.
I succesfuly achieved my master, but it was hard, and I ended up disapointed in the end. I love doing research, but I realised that thé dance field is even more closed than the philosophy field. I was thinking that because it is an artistic field, it would be more open... But in the end, it's the opposite. You have to know the "right" things, to read the "right" authors, to watch the "right" dance work... In the end, I felt way more judged than I was in philosophy, and it was very hard more my self confidence, and it held me from working with pleasure on my research. So, I ended up very tired, very depressed, with my self esteem in pieces. It was a hard year...
I think, if it would have been for myself, I would have been proud of my research. But, after hearing teachers about it, I grew hating what I did. I grew disgusted of it.
Now, it is finaly over. I am glad it is behind me. I had good grades all in all, but I feel like I really sucked though. I am not ready to lau ch myself into a PhD after that. Maybe later. Maybe never. I don't know in which field I would fit... But, that is for sure : not in the dance field.
For now, I want to move on. Go back to photos, maybe re open my OF or something (I really need to make money, and because of my psychiatric issues, I can't manage to do much regular jobs). Maybe try some streaming. Try to create content, things like that I can do from home. I need to feel that I am able to do some things ^-^
So, let's go to new chapter of my life, I guess ! Hoping I will eventualy find my way ✨
Thank you so much for reading !
😽😽😽
