maibey

You can't change a man, but you can maim him.

When I invited my friends over for drinks, and you thought I was planning an orgy, I convinced myself you were only joking.
When you listened to The Clash for the first time and rolled your eyes, I thought you just needed some time.
When you told me repeatedly about your ex modeling for Versace, I stifled my laughter.
When I caught you pretending to be a girl on the internet to solicit cyber-sex from old men, I convinced myself you were quirky.
When you said you hated big cities because of all the weirdos, I thought you wanted a safe place to raise a family.
When I found your stash of Rohypnol, I decided you were under a lot of stress.
When you told me you voted for Bush because of his stance on stem cell research, I thought we were just raised differently.
When you used my cat as a snot-rag, I smiled at how close you two had become.
When you patted me on the stomach and asked if I really needed that piece of cheesecake, I threw a brick through a Versace window display.
When you said you didn't need to pick up a book because they made all the good ones into movies anyway, I convinced myself you couldn't help being a product of this day and age.
But when you told me the best compliment you could give me was that we were cut from the same cloth, I just had to stab you in the eye with the oyster fork.