magxc

Perspective

Is a lie. i'll be sitting on the train back from hospital (where my alcoholic mother has put herself for the second glorious time since new year) and trying to keep my thoughts on serious, necesssary considerations: what are they testing her for? what will i do if she needs full-time care now? where am i going to get the fucking money? how am i going to cope?

I'll try, but my mind wanders back to the same stock of self-obsessed shite it always does. self-criticism, insecurity, the inability to decide whether my low opinon of myself is deserved.

thinking about starving children in ethiopia never made me like my dinner any more than i did.

it's funny,too, how the farther away the chance of love is, sometimes, the closer it feels it might be.

the mind protects itself, i suppose



also: the buzzcocks might just be the best band that ever performed. until tomorrow.