magnusopum

I know I'm not alone. I know a million other people feel the way I do.

But that doesn't stop the pain being so visceral. It doesn't mean I don't ache to have her back with me.

I can't sink into this. It's been so long now. A year, punctuated with eqaul happiness and anger. No wonder I have no idea how I feel.

How do you turn off a love that you held for five years? Is it possible to let it fade? Over time, gradually dissipate into the other daily emoitions and tiredness.

Or will it always be there. Like the craving for a cigarette. That empty, hungry sensation even when everything else has you satiated.

I miss having someone to love. Even when there is a person there who wants it, needs it and yet never asks for it.

Someone who pulls tears from my eyes because of how I feel I abandoned something that was so obviously there. All because of the past.

It feels good to cry after ten years of holding back and trying to be the man I wanted to grow into.