magni

Nothing new.

Oh things change. I'm going to SF. I don't have a job there but I have been in a rut where I am now.

I actually laugh out loud now just thinking about how imprisoned I had become getting married, becoming responsible with a stable job, no debt including student debt allowed, becoming her little man, and not rocking the boat. How that will soon be over, my oppressive job is the last symbol.

Yeah but I was fucked up too. I gobbled humble pie up to try to sate my demons. But its true it was like that.

I also laugh out loud thinking about myself and other aspects of how I am unwinding.

Yesterday I went a new Caribou coffee in the Ogilvie Center where I catch my train home after work. There was a very cute girl working the counter and when she saw that I had "A Heatbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" with me, she remarked that she loved that book. An excellent opportunity to try my charm ordinarily and that was my intention.

I shot back "What did you like about it?". I asked her like I was giving her a pop quiz. I was reaching. Its been a while since I dallied in flirtation with retail folk. Its kind of thinking out of the box as it is.

"Its just funny. I like him." She looked to my face for signals.

Blank expression.

"And sad I guess."

Blank expression. But I had to say something. "I uh haven't finished it. Yeah, funny and sad is good together."

"Yeah"

"Did you read his other books?"

"No. He only wrote one other.."

"I think he wrote more."

"No I didn't..oh maybe he wrote one and it wasn't released."

"Whats your name?"

"Jessica?"

Here goes..this is when I can tell. "Mine's Meadowlark."

"Oh."

I walk away. Someone else had already handed me my iced tea. I had already thanked her when I paid.

Then I read some of that book. It had been a while since I ahd put down, I picked it back up carried it on the train, talked about it, then read some again, and I love it. Where the fuck was that sentiment earlier?

After I started to read again, on the sofa with C, and I realized how charming this book was, I laughed. I am well aware that I am in a transitional state. And Jessica caught the freak of me.