magni

Well H is such a splendid girl I just wish I could give her the world. I totally want to be her male cheerleader but instead I had to inform her that I was in an open relationship, as soon as I could. I did it last Thurs (48 hours is decent - somehow I got held up the day before). I had to do it via vmail no less cuz I couldn't get a hold of her.

There was no way I was going to threaten her trust abilities or overload her ability to adjust any more than I had to. She is already leaning into adjustment 200%, as an actively recovering rape survivor, I imagine.

Furthermore as I had called her today to check on her well being and answer any questions, I also had to inform her that I am really falling (gulp) in love with the girl I am in the open relationship with to the extent that I now wished to stop dating others (or at least stop dating others w/out her mutual satisfaction very much integral in my mind). But H had already decided to pass on me anyway.

She was crying but cheerful throughout because she had already decided to pass on me. God I love a hopeful survivor! And I so wish I could grant her the man she needs. She deserves a great one so so much. I would be totally picky finding a blind date for her.

I secretly hope that she'll at least let me continue to be a cheerleader for her.