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magni

Member Since 2004

Followers 126 Following 194

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Monday Jun 21, 2004

Jun 21, 2004
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Strangely...at 11:00 am today, I am now a divorcee thanks to judge so-in-so (really thanks to A. the X).

Is my mind running with emotions?...no..did that already.

Is everything new? ...yes but been there for a while now.

Do feel like I am single? ..yes pretty much but been that way for a while.

No tears...no sudden realization that I could have done something different..and no sudden yearning to fix things and that its too late now.

I did get pretty much finally okay, the day before, with the freaky sex party thing that had me so overwhelmed. It was supposed to be on the downlow until I was ready but I got wind too soon. And I do feel a little sad that I missed out on the fun of that kind play, cuz I was so overwhelmed. I'm sure I was supposed to get my turn. And in the better perspective, I remembered times she tried to help me get bucked up again, sweet woman. I was just too much in the wrong perspective.

So why am I so cool with this divorce? I think the extra space from an open relationship coupled with the fact that I was going through a bigger change than divorce (not beating myself the fuck up - and contrarily giving myself my props for once! - talking personality change not just recent behavior) and I made it thru that already.

Life is double new! eeek

Strangely...at 11:00 am today, I am now a divorcee thanks to judge so-in-so (really thanks to A. the X).

Is my mind running with emotions?...no..did that already.

Is everything new? ...yes but been there for a while now.

Do feel like I am single? ..yes pretty much but been that way for a while.

No tears...no sudden realization that I could have done something different..and no sudden yearning to fix things and that its too late now.

I did get pretty much finally okay, the day before, with the freaky sex party thing that had me so overwhelmed. It was supposed to be on the downlow until I was ready but I got wind too soon. And I do feel a little sad that I missed out on the fun of that kind play, cuz I was so overwhelmed. I'm sure I was supposed to get my turn. And in the better perspective, I remembered times she tried to help me get bucked up again, sweet woman. I was just too much in the wrong perspective.

So why am I so cool with this divorce? I think the extra space from an open relationship coupled with the fact that I was going through a bigger change than divorce (not beating myself the fuck up - and contrarily giving myself my props for once! - talking personality change not just recent behavior) and I made it thru that already.

Life is double new! eeek
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
signalnoise:
yea, ryan's kinda creepy. he's one of those conservative-types with a freaky bone in his body or two. it's all & all a pretty ugly bit of politics going down - i sort of feel bad, especially now that republicans (locally, state-wide & even nationally) are pretty much abandoning the poor guy.
Jun 23, 2004
esme:
Hallo neighbor!
I was at midsommarfest for about an hour to see Kelly Hogan and eat a notverygood Greek pizza from Andie's (I heart Andies, but I shoulda played it safe and gone with the falafel). I'm actually up by Clark & Devon, not so far from you at all....maybe I even know who you are. Mwahahahahaha.
Jun 23, 2004

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