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maggiezee

i'm not sure anymore.

Member Since 2006

Followers 156 Following 146

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Tuesday Jan 01, 2008

Jan 1, 2008
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'08 is gonna blow.

remember how i said i have the worst timing ever? yeah, i'm at it again. remember my collegeboy best friend i fell in love with? worst timing ever to kiss him... it's wasn't like a happy new year's kiss, it was like two hours after the ball dropped.

wait, what?!?

yeah. we kissed, and my world was blown open. after making out a while, we poured our hearts out to each other. he's wanted me from day one, only i was gay then and then when i wasn't neither made a move because we were scared and now we both know we've felt the same from the beginning. only, we might have waited too long. he's got a girlfriend he's in love with, but he's got feelings for me too. he's gonna tell her and i guess we'll just see where it goes from there. no matter what, we decided, we'll be friends through and through.

oh, but it's so hard. to know what it's like after wanting it for so long and knowing he felt the same all the fuck along. and to know he might stay with her and not me, it kills me. he made me believe in god. he makes me want to be a better person. and if we never get together, i'm always gonna want it now, and now all the cards are on the table. dear god, don't let it get awkward. when everything is said and done, no matter what happens, what i want the most is for him to be happy. and for him to be in my life somehow.

fuck. this hurts.


song on repeat right now [[and i don't care how emo it is]]: a fine frenzy - almost lover.

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

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