maggielanne

As Timothy Leary once said, "... to think for yourself, you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open mindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself." What that basically means is that you need to go through all facets of every emotion in order to know that someone is right for you. If you can't do that, then you're cheating them of showing them everything of who you really are and the same goes for them as well. The real question lies in deeper of whether or not you are triggered to be into a "type" of person because of something in your past. I realized, about a year and a half ago, that I was subconsciously deeply attracted to women who needed rescuing. The bad thing to that was that once they felt rescued and rebuilt, they took off and I'm holding an empty bag. One evening I sat there and thought about all of the significant signs of each and every past relationship, recognized the similarities that each had in common at the time I first met them and it allowed me to see, upfront, what was happening. When I recognized the similarities, I'd politely excuse myself and explain that it wouldn't work. Having gone through everything that Timothy Leary states is the learning experience (informing yourself). It's just a matter of what you will remember and when you will want to change that. People do find love that lasts the rest of their lives and during those years they still go through a lot of emotional ups and downs with one person. How much will one person tolerate or accept before deciding they can live with or without that person. My current relationship... my girlfriend works so much that she's very forgetful; it's like I'm looking out for 2 people now. But I'm a guy, I'm sort of looked at to do so. On the flip side of it... there hasn't been one day that she's come home and forgotten to show me how much she loves me. So when she forgets things, I crack jokes and make her laugh about it. But there's another thing to consider as well... there are various levels of vulnerability as well as levels of emotion we invest in things. For example, I left myself a little bit vulnerable by opening up to strangers about a small part of my life. Buy I don't have any emotion tied to it, so my vulnerability is minimal. If anything, you know more about me now. Contrarily, I'm comfortable sharing this information. So the levels of vulnerability and emotions are separate but also tied to the levels of comfort. If you take your time and adjust your vulnerability and emotions with your comfort levels, you may have a different outcome than jumping in with both feet and intensely handing over your emotions and making yourself completely vulnerable. You can also be completely comfortable with everyone and are naturally able to make yourself vulnerable but keep control of your emotions. Again... I may be comfortable sharing my life's stories with you and you can do with them as you will, but you will not break my heart because I did not give you any of my emotions for you to take and do what you wish. Anybody can do anything with everything that you give them. You are in control of what you give. Learn from your past, see the patterns, go through and relive the memories of those raw emotions, let it tear you up inside again, over and over until you remember everything and how you felt. Then go outside, take control of your emotions and break your cycle.