maeleigh

thank you guys so much for your encourageing words.
I spent the weekend in dallas and...

i had the most amazing weekend of my life... and i learned a lot about a lot of things.

i spent the night with an old romance and without having sex, he showed me more intimacy and security and safety then i had ever known before in my life. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he wanted to be anywhere but with me. He held me closer and kissed me deeper then i ever thought it phsically possible.

it sucked to leave him, but "he" isn't want i need, it could be anyone, ive found a part of myself that i thought i had lost and abandoned. I never thought i could "let go" like i did, and now that i have, there's no turning back for me.

No more meaningless one night stands, no more feeling like all i'm worth is sex, i've spent 2 years of my life shutting people out to avoid being hurt, but now i'm ready for the commitment and i'm ready for someone to love me for me. I know that i will get hurt and i know that its not easy to take down the wall, but i've felt what it feels like to be wanted, and i'm not settling for less then what i deserve.

I feel terrified and secure all in one emotion.

again, thank you to everyone who has made me remember how beautiful i am. and to be honest, i'm not beautiful to everyone, but the people who think i'm less then that, haven't really known me, because the people who really konw me, think i'm the most amazing being alive. and i am.

xxx, ms. mae