[rant]
Need somewhere to vent but if I post on FB, too many people will see it. Don't bother reading. Seriously.
So it's been many years since I've been with a woman in any way. Meh, whatever. I mean, all my sexual frustration is just hormonal bullshit, right? I have like 50 friends, clearly I shouldn't be lonely. Hell, I hang out with some beautiful women on a regular basis. It's not like I'm stuck in an eternal sausage fest. I have yin and yang in my life, shouldn't that be enough? I have friends from all different age ranges in several different circles. I have my car/engineer friends, my gaming geek circles, my stoner friends, and my awesome SG peeps. With all of that, I really should feel quite a sense of fulfillment, right?
Right?
Yeah, even I'm not believing my own BS anymore. Even ten million friends wouldn't be able to fix that. I'm 11 months from being out of my twenties, yet I've had sex maybe, hmm, 15 times. My prime is almost over and I've done nothing. I guess I've made some half-assed attempts. A couple hundred messages on OKCupid, hitting on the few single women that cross my path. But I just haven't made any progress. By this point, pretty much all the good ones are taken. I snoozed and lost. Even if I somehow get my shit together now, the opportunity to have crazy sex with a tight little 20something is long gone. Sure, in the grand scheme, 30 is still a baby. But to a girl who hasn't hit drinking age, I'm fucking ancient. Looks like my only hope may be a passable cougar, but even that would require me to grow some balls first. The only 2 women I have been with both came after me and had to drag me, almost fighting, into bed. And here I sit, delusionally hoping that I'll get that lucky a third time?? WTF is wrong with me.
My fallback has always been when I start thinking about it too much, just get so stoned that I stop thinking. I guess this is what happens when I run out of weed.
[\rant]
