On July 25th, I lost my soulmate, my wife of 16 years, Erica. To say it hurts would be a drastic understatement. Although she had a rough battle with various health issues over the past 3 years (blood clots, losing her right leg, an infected bedsore on her sacrum, multiple bouts with c diff, diabetes, a colostomy, depression), she constantly overcame whatever was thrown at her. She had pretty much been bed-bound for almost that entire time since losing her leg but this past June we got her into a wheelchair and I personally walked her to my youngest daughter's school so she could be there for her awards ceremony and graduation from 5th grade.
The night of July 23rd, Erica and I stayed up late watching the Yankees baseball game. The morning of the 24th I was awoken by my mother-in-law saying Erica was not well. When I saw her, Erica was semiconscious, in pain, having trouble breathing and her abdomen on her right side was majorly distended. We got her to the hospital as soon as possible. A CT scan and initial blood tests showed Erica had a hematoma on her right side and that she was in sepsis. Also her blood sugars had spiked to the 800/900 levels from the infection. Not long after that, she was put on a ventilator and taken to the ICU where the doctors advised me I may need to prepare myself to make some difficult decisions. When I left her that day, I honestly thought she was going to pull through. It was going to be a hell of a battle but I thought she was going to do it. I did not visit her again that day, giving the night visitation hours to her mother and our oldest daughter to spend time with her. It is a decision that still weighs heavily on me. I took our oldest daughter with me to visit Erica during the first available ICU visitation. Shortly after arriving, my wife coded. The doctors and nurses were able to resuscitate her but all that did was delay the inevitable. By then, her organs had started failing from the sepsis. Her blood pressure was so low that her vital organs were not getting the necessary blood they needed. It was just a matter of time. At that point, we started calling all the family to have them come say goodbye. I had to do three of the hardest things I have ever had to do: tell my two younger children that their mother was dying; make the decision to stop life support for her, telling the doctors not to resuscitate her; and finally watch her life slowly slip away. I still get emotional thinking about that day.
These are just a few pictures to show the amazing and beautiful woman that Erica was. I miss her deeply. I try to take solace in knowing she is no longer in pain and that she has finally been reunited with our little baby who died when Erica was 6 months pregnant and contracted listeria.
"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." - Sarah from The Crow
