THE FINE PRINT:
> Halloween was pretty lame but at least I dressed up.
> I want to be Flo every day.
> I still need to watch the movies.
> New jewelry for the septum but I'm not sure if I want to keep the piercing. Heal, motherfucker.
> No work tomorrow!
> Is Sicily still in the bathroom? Someone better make sure she's not smearing shit all over the walls..
> I was called a hussy today at work. Fuck you, old man.
> I heart my kitty, Stupid.
----------------------------
Guess what kids, it's story time -- hoo-ray!
Let's keep in mind all the shit I talk about 'tards, yeah? So, I'm in the midst of waitressing hell and desperately trying to get to the 5-7 tables I was just sat up front while still serving my customers in the back. Low and behold, I now have a table with three speds waiting for me. Two guys, a woman, and I'm serious when I say the bitch was growing a fucking beard (maybe they were AWOL carnies?). Luckily I'm too busy to:
1. Get their drinks.
2. Take their orders.
3. Serve their food.
4. Comment on their lurking stench.
5. Interact with them altogether.
After they gobble, slurp, and gnaw their food away, I go to make change for these unfortunate specimens. Three separate tickets and stiffed by each of them. Someone ought to teach them 'tards the concept of tipping -- and it's a good thing I don't believe in karma.
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Answer: the sun
> Halloween was pretty lame but at least I dressed up.
> I want to be Flo every day.
> I still need to watch the movies.
> New jewelry for the septum but I'm not sure if I want to keep the piercing. Heal, motherfucker.
> No work tomorrow!
> Is Sicily still in the bathroom? Someone better make sure she's not smearing shit all over the walls..
> I was called a hussy today at work. Fuck you, old man.
> I heart my kitty, Stupid.
----------------------------
Guess what kids, it's story time -- hoo-ray!
Let's keep in mind all the shit I talk about 'tards, yeah? So, I'm in the midst of waitressing hell and desperately trying to get to the 5-7 tables I was just sat up front while still serving my customers in the back. Low and behold, I now have a table with three speds waiting for me. Two guys, a woman, and I'm serious when I say the bitch was growing a fucking beard (maybe they were AWOL carnies?). Luckily I'm too busy to:
1. Get their drinks.
2. Take their orders.
3. Serve their food.
4. Comment on their lurking stench.
5. Interact with them altogether.
After they gobble, slurp, and gnaw their food away, I go to make change for these unfortunate specimens. Three separate tickets and stiffed by each of them. Someone ought to teach them 'tards the concept of tipping -- and it's a good thing I don't believe in karma.
----------------------------
Answer: the sun
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
As you know, I was in Minneapolis this weekend getting married and laid, not in that order. Amid the chaos I met my mother-in-law Nancy, a.k.a. Fancy Nance, who lives in a house with two of her sisters and one unrelated older guy that rents the room upstairs. I had the extreme pleasure of meeting this upstairs boarder. He speaks with an indecipherable accent, is in a perpetual drugged-smile daze, and was introduced to me as a Hare Krishna. His name?
M e r c e d.
And piercing like a laser through the dense fog of this weekend's madness came the connection - the instantaneous connection between this dumpy, middle-aged loser before me- and another dumpy, youngish loser - my darling little Reagan.
You know I heart ya.
In health news... my body is sore in multiple places from the frequency and variety of fucking that took place this past weekend. But please do not shed a tear for me, dear Reagan; I will be all right in a couple of days.
[Edited on Nov 03, 2003 6:50PM]