Everyone makes mistakes, but why do I have to pay for mine w/ my head. Everything is a punishment. Everything w/ a motive to cause pain. Am I really the monster he says I am? Then my self punishment is not as severe as it ought to be. Maybe next time I'll rip out my uterus and serve it to him for a snack. cause god knows all that I've given so far hasn't satisfied his appetite.
Give until you don't have a hand to hold it in. A marriage is like a Frisbee covered in razors. You reach up to catch it even though you know there is almost no chance you won't get hurt. You just grasp the blades and hope the many layers of blood don't make you lose your grip. Maybe thats a bad example but it was the first thing that came to mind. I can't conceive how some one could justify some of these behaviors. Youll read this and think "yeah, I've heard it all before" Stop hearing start seeing... Cause everything fades except the memory of you. pig, goddess, whore, hunny, cunt, sweetie... these words don't belong in the same sentence how could someone use them about the same person. But I'm sure that person deserves to be taken from a perfect mood to a pit of despair... I know... blah blah blah... BOOM!!!!!! yeah, I wish. Its like chasing your pre-natal vitamins w/ a shot of Hennessey and a crack rock. Sipping on Saurere apfel...wishing it were Romeos solution, throbbing but, feeling the vicodens kiss... skin is alive w/ the cold air of the summer night. Mouth sweet w/ hyper glycemia and blood thick w/ fury. Yet peace falls over me, the peace as the realization that I have been writing my every thought... to be able to speak is freedom but to be able to cry out your soul is surreal...I look into the mirror, I really like my face. I wonder how it would look after I smash it thru the glass. So much rage!!!!! But It's not mine, it doesn't come from inside. Theres a little boy, so scared to live, only way he can feel like a man is to fuck and fuck up. Badass? not so far. Am I really that whore you say I am? Maybe, but no worse than you. The world is looking at you and laughing and you know it. Anger makes us say strange things.
(Please no one take this personally, I just needed to vent)
Give until you don't have a hand to hold it in. A marriage is like a Frisbee covered in razors. You reach up to catch it even though you know there is almost no chance you won't get hurt. You just grasp the blades and hope the many layers of blood don't make you lose your grip. Maybe thats a bad example but it was the first thing that came to mind. I can't conceive how some one could justify some of these behaviors. Youll read this and think "yeah, I've heard it all before" Stop hearing start seeing... Cause everything fades except the memory of you. pig, goddess, whore, hunny, cunt, sweetie... these words don't belong in the same sentence how could someone use them about the same person. But I'm sure that person deserves to be taken from a perfect mood to a pit of despair... I know... blah blah blah... BOOM!!!!!! yeah, I wish. Its like chasing your pre-natal vitamins w/ a shot of Hennessey and a crack rock. Sipping on Saurere apfel...wishing it were Romeos solution, throbbing but, feeling the vicodens kiss... skin is alive w/ the cold air of the summer night. Mouth sweet w/ hyper glycemia and blood thick w/ fury. Yet peace falls over me, the peace as the realization that I have been writing my every thought... to be able to speak is freedom but to be able to cry out your soul is surreal...I look into the mirror, I really like my face. I wonder how it would look after I smash it thru the glass. So much rage!!!!! But It's not mine, it doesn't come from inside. Theres a little boy, so scared to live, only way he can feel like a man is to fuck and fuck up. Badass? not so far. Am I really that whore you say I am? Maybe, but no worse than you. The world is looking at you and laughing and you know it. Anger makes us say strange things.
(Please no one take this personally, I just needed to vent)
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
That was some odd sort of beautiful. I could read it over and over.
hope you feel better soon/now <3
-hug-