Sunday Jan 17, 2010

0
HEARTBROKEN.

right i need to moan my ass off somewhere where he cant see!

im sick of love. it fucking sucks!!! rargghh frown im listenin to jose vanders (if you havent heard her, check her out) and shes making me feel soo ridiculously sad for some reason.
she uses lyrics like "realising that she'd found the one who knows just what it means to save the last chocolate button no matter how tasty it seems" and "pick me apart, uncover my heart,its yours"
ohh goooddddd. ive decided im as unlucky as bridget jones. i think thats why i love those films so much cus its just me!
basically, i have such bad luck with guys. ive fallen stupidly in love 3 times now, because i like to give my heart away like its a packet of crisps. the first person i was with for years and there was always kinda another girl he was always interested in, he never cheated though but i always felt i wasnt good enough and when we used to see a really pretty girl, i used to let go of his hand incase he was ashamed of being with me, anyway after all of that finished,and a fair few months later, i fell for another guy who wooed me with his charm and smile, i knew i was fallin for him but i couldnt stop because i had faith in the fact he would want me. but alas he turns round and says im gettin back with my ex.
its been half a year since that and im in love again,with someone who yet again doesnt want me. i dont no why i do it!! i tend to always be like this one will be different but they never are. he told me he was in love with me and now suddenly im not his type and hes not interested in me like that anymore, funny that, its like i let people in to crush me. why cant he just want me frown the fact that there is always another girl stuff is taking its toll on me, ive always been insecure as hell and im slowly losing all liking in myself.

i no people say oh theres plenty more fish in the sea and that but what happens when you only want that one fish, and he swims away and you left with a broken heart. i had hope in the fact i could get him back and somehow become attractive to him. but i guess, if thats lost then theres no point in trying..

your probably thinkin im stupidly pathetic, but love is the most important thing to me and without it, i am nothing more than empty shell, sitting in the darkness.

WHAT SHALL I DO GUYS?! i need heart healing medicine ASAP!!! frown gona go cry now haha. damnnn.

"your eyes have faded, im in pieces. i cant cope without your kisses"
frown
xxxxx
VIEW 25 of 40 COMMENTS
ultimatelewser:
You're a lovely woman, and you're still young. Enjoy your youth while you still have it. You've plenty of time to find that one special someone for you. Don't look so hard for him; he'll come to you. smile

*hugs* You're gonna be all right, kid. I promise. kiss

LEW!
electraomega:
maddie, i too am a crazy being of love. i love to have it, i love to give it, and i love being surrounded by it. i have a feeling you are similar to me in a lot of ways, so i'm going to tell you what my best friend told me when he was consoling me through my last break-up.

he acknowledged that i'm a very caring person who has this ever-present aura of love, which can be just as negative as it can be positive.he told me that over the years he has seen that i really put myself out there for people, which offers a much greater potential for getting hurt. but the most important thing that he told me, was that one of his favorite things about me was that i maintain my positivity through everything. that i haven't become jaded. don't get me wrong, i sometimes have a pretty fucking shitty adjustment period after a break-up. i always think that that was MY FISH! and every now and again i FEEL a little jaded....but i always try to remember the beauty of the world. that there still is love all around. and instead of thinking that my fish got away i and being sad about it, i just try to remember how much fun it was while they were my fish, and count it as an experience. it's not always easy. but i've found that i feel much better doing it this way(with a positive attitude) than when i was pessimistic,self-loathing, angst ridden teen skull

moralbiggrin-remember that there is a lot of love and beauty in this world, and you are certainly a part of it. with, or wothout a "significant other". someone already mentioned this, but my outlook on life changed dramatically after i started to find the love for myself. admittedly, this was the hard part, and i'm not exactly sure when, or how i started falling in love with me, so i can't reallly describe how that worked... but with all of these concerned comments to your blogs, all of the praise on your sets, and all of the people who want to befirend you(even if just in the internet world)... that has to give you some affimation that you rockwink i truely hope that it does, because you seem like a reallly awesome girl who it pains me to think of going through all of this anguish.

hmm, it turns out that i too am guilty of rambling on way more than i intented too... oh welll

cheer up buttercup biggrin
*electra

p.s. what's up with this insecurity thing? YOU'RE A SUICIDE GIRL!!! did you forget?love

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