madatalice

Waiting around. Annoyed. I had a wierd day today. I did many unpleasant things. Everything turned out ok I guess. A little wierd.
"Make the right choice." what the fuck is that supposed to mean? I dont want to make the right choice. I want to make the better for now choice. I have never been good at the big picture thing. Always the now. Now you tell me to do the right thing for myself and make the right choice. Well, I went ahead and made the wrong one. It wasnt as bad or as hard as I dreaded. Wierd, yes, but not bad.
If I didnt have insomnia, I would go to sleep and forget about today... that would be nice, but I cant sleep. It is 1:21 and I am not even tired. I would really like to talk to someone or go somewhere, but there is no one awake and no where to go. I feel out of place in my own home. Maybe that is because my best friend and my brother are sleeping on the couch downstairs. She calls him more than me these days. It is strange. I am trying to be nice about it, but it honestly freaks me out. They are so different.

I am reading "she's come undone" by wally lamb again. It is a great book. I highly suggest reading it. It is kind of a chick book though. I guess I will go read until something better happens.