madamleslie

Wish I May

I've lost my path -
I've lost my place -
And I wonder what'll happen
When all the roads overlap
And we're staring face to face.

I'm sinking into a quicksand of desire
And I'm wearing out my welcome on the foot of your bed
Trying not to awaken your significant other,
Trying not to stir up my
Dormant self-loathing...

But late at night
I toss and turn
Because I keep having this dream
Where I can't see a thing
Because I'm smothered by darkness.

There's a stiff competition
Between the walls I put up
And the ones you keep knocking down.
You keep saying,
"Everything's going to be okay."
But how can I trust your optimism,
When I can't trust you?

I'm not strong enough
To hold myself up to your standards
So I've left out
What you don't want to hear.
But I'm spinning with longing
Spiraling out of control
And silently screaming,
"This isn't who I want to be!" and
"This isn't how I want to feel!"

All I want is to stop wishing on stars
For dreams that won't come true.
Fo you, for me, for her - all three -
A few too many wish I might's and wish I may's -

Starlight, star bright.
Have this wish I wish tonight:
I wish for passion without pain
Desire without regret and
Love without repercussions...

All I want...
Is nothing you can give.

**I wrote this a long long time ago - I'm glad I don't feel this way anymore **