mad_fer_it

Time to hand out some forgiveness. Ok, I'll start.

I forgive those birds who mess up my car everyday because as much as I like that tree for shade they like it for a different reason

I forgive Oasis for singing Cum on Feel the Noise live even though it is a classic song from the british band Slade long before the joke that is Quiet Riot.

I forgive all the tour de france wannabees with their silly spandex and helmets taking up half the road on busy thoroughfares. Shoot, while we're at it, I FORGIVE FRANCE.

I forgive my mom for making me wear those brown plaid pants with alternating brown and green velour v neck sweaters.

I forgive the sun for being so close to me here in Phoenix and for the chicken shit clouds who are afraid of it.

I forgive Kris Ann, the first girl to make my heart flutter, who then moved out of town before the start of sixth grade.

I forgive people who wear Birkenstocks even though I still with all my heart believe they are the soles of evil.

I forgive the English National Team for continuing to embarrass itself on the worldwide stage.

I forgive those black Necco Wafers who try to pass themselves off as the good purple ones with all that powder.

I forgive all those marketing bastards who destroy quality 80's alternative music with their grotesque tv ads hocking their wares.

I forgive Robert DeNiro for The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

I forgive the desperate souls in San Jose years ago who threw a huge rock threw my car window and stole nothing but my mixed tapes, out of date walkman and my favorite baseball glove.

I forgive Mars for being so captivating that it distracts big minds and big money from the real issues threatening our children.

I forgive Nabisco Shredded Wheat for letting the sugar pass right thru it on the way to the bottom of the cereal bowl.

I forgive drawstrings who disappear into the waistband of your favorite hoop shorts.

I forgive my nature and it's love of procrastination and self pity.

I forgive technology for passing me by.

I forgive Cold Stone for actually sucking and being so expensive that it brainwashes people into thinking it is good.

I forgive that tree which drew my sled and head to it like a tractor beam on the Harter's hill.

I forgive Half Priced Books for making it so easy to fill a closet full of literature that was only briefly scanned and cast aside.

I forgive eastern Montana for being butt ugly and detracting from the beauty that is western Montana.

I forgive those people in that thread that say The Beatles are the most overrated band of all time.

I forgive those bold ass crows that climb in your golf cart and fuck with your beverages.

I forgive Chevy Chase for never being funny but always thinking he is.

I forgive rain and its unpredictablitly fucking with your intermittent wiper duration decision.

I forgive Courtney Love and all the horrible places she has made her barefeet endure.

I forgive Barstow California and Kingman Arizona for being the most depressing places west of the Mississippi.

And finally, I forgive Nickelback, Creed and the Goo Goo Dolls for they know not what they do.