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macq

San Francisco

Member Since 2005

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Friday Mar 26, 2010

Mar 26, 2010
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The party's over...and amazingly enough, there was no hard drinking...shocked...I did think of stopping off and having a few at a local dive bar before going home yesterday...smile...But I knew that there was going to be SOME sort of social event related to the day, so I went straight home...a few relatives, a few gifts, a few cards and I didn't have to cook the meal...smile...and chocolate cake...biggrin...not german chocolate but I could not complain...smile

Because of scheduling snafus, I had today off...so I got to clean up...smilefrown...I was also going through some really old stuff, trying to make room for new stuff and ran across a single piece of paper among a small box of notes I have kept over the years...mostly scraps of story lines a off hand poetry that I have written over the years...I don't even recall bringing this box into this house...but there it was...surreal

I read every scrap and have kept many...but there was this ONE...It was like my twenty-something self writing a time capsule to my now 50-self...I never ever even thought about doing this conciously but there it was...Psych 101...Diablo Valley College...advice from the instructor...copied off the board verbatim...

"Your life is yours, do you have the courage to take it?...All things can be changed, but all changes come with a cost...but what is it costing you not to change...?"

I can't even recall the instructors name...but he had been in Vietnam, a Cuban prison and some even whispered the CIA...so the man knew somthing of life...

My what a timely present from myself when I thought I knew it all....and lived long enough to know that I didn't...smile The advice must have been something I thought I would need to be reminded of...and I may have been right...I have always lived my life according to my choice...for good or bad...there have been costs and there will be more...but I'm sure they would have been more comfortable to complete when I was 20-something...smilebiggrin...now I need a computer and HD TV...hitting the road and turning my back on my present life will not be as easy or as romantic now...and then there's health care...smileeeek

But the time will come...I just hope I don't have to write another note...smile

And whoever sent the 101 Days of Dalmations calendar...I know it must have been half off, but the damn thing ends on April 11th...smilemadbiggrin
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
evangelin:
AWWWWWW I SUCKKk- i missed your birthday....I have no excuse, i was wallowing in love sucks misery knowing I did the right thing for me, hoping he understands, ICKKKKKKKKKKKKKk ....I was being a crybaby dumbass. You have always been so sweet to me so I hate I did thatfrownfrownfrown On the brighter side- atleast i did not send you the Dalmatian Calendarbiggrintongue and I love :
"Your life is yours, do you have the courage to take it?...All things can be changed, but all changes come with a cost...but what is it costing you not to change...?"

I'm going to have to write that down and keep it near. i don't know if you needed it- but i'm sure glad you posted it, because I did~

Totally unrelated- the ice cream man truck keeps coming around like the same time and the otherday he must have been out of the truck because i heard the music for like a half hour. I'm not even lying. i am starting to get completely freaked out. like scarey movie freaked outshockedeeekbokbokbok

ok hugs and kisses and I hope to hear about your birthday"gifts"biggrinkisslove
Mar 27, 2010
lielock:
I know...but I have a lot to lose now.
I think it has to do with my b12/iron thing. I mean i am told it was ok but who knows. I don't take any meds anymore. So yeah I know blah being old BUT I was always like this really just not this extreme. So the fair skin...anemia...and being old.
what a great note. and what calender ends in spring?
Mar 28, 2010

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