I have to get up in 3 hours so I will make this fast...Right.
Two jobs, seven days in the week, no days off until late July probably but I'm still hanging on...But that's not the problem. The problem is the burner on my kettle at the brewpub needs regular servicing due to a delicate ignition system that on good days keeps me from blowing myself up, but on bad days will not light...or worse yet, lights and then fails during the grain mash..Last night it failed midway through...
Burner failures always remind me of aviation movies and some Star Trek episodes..."We're going in!!!", "I can't hold her!!!", "Cap'n, I don't know how much more of this we can take!!!"...I have a limited time to bring it back on line or I have to trash the mash...some one ton of water and grain (very hot water) and no way to pack out that much product UP from the basement...So to say I'm motivated is an understatement...Before financial cutbacks we paid a guy $125 buck an hour to do this job proactively...This was money very well spent because it kept me off of my belly. But now, "It's your brewery, you take care of it"...
I have to open the back of the burner (hot) and contort myself into an opening that is almost just big enough for me...but not quite.I have to lay on my belly, squirm through the opening, bring both arms (one at a time) over my head so I can reach the auto-thermal couple device. I have to keep my face down in the sooty concrete floor so as to avoid touching the top of my head to the one-quarter stainless steel floor of the kettle that is all that is holding back the ton of hot water and grain...so far, it has never failed...
I did have the presence of mind to put my Bob Seeger Live double album cd in the player, knowing that it could be awhile...I have to have music when I'm stressed...
...So as I'm blindly groping for the part I'm trying to remove 2 screws and 2 clips from, I'm listening to Bob belting out "I feel like a number", while I'm trying not to think about all of misbehaving enzymes and proteins in the mash above my warm scalp. These critters need time and temperature to make them behave...once the heat goes away, they are free to run amok and couple with any other random enzyme or protein that catches their eye...resulting in eventual bad flavors in the beer that I will be able to do nothing about...
But I got it out in record time...just shy of 20 minutes...rushed it to the workbench to scrub excess carbon buildup, readjust the gap and dive back under the kettle to put it back in...and hope that it works...It always takes a minute or more to put it back in than it did to take it out...I have to get the screw holes lined up just right... 
As I'm putting it back in and hoping that it will work the first time (it doesn't always)..I'm thinking of the $125 an hour I'm NOT getting for doing this work..In addition to the fact that when we had the guy come do this, the kettle was empty and cool...no worries what the enzymes are doing behind your back (and above your head)...I suddenly flash on a scene from "The Elephant Man", with me as the put upon brewer trying to shield myself from the slings and arrows of mis-Management..."I am NOT a plumber, I am a human being!!!"
Well, it did work, the brew was saved and seems to have no evidence of future bad fragrances brought on by randy enzymes... ...I don't know why I decided to share this episode, except that it was probably the best damn thing that happened to me yesterday (not a good day really) and I am a bit proud that it was accomplished under duress without 3 smoke breaks and a free lunch...Maybe I should be a plumber... 
Two jobs, seven days in the week, no days off until late July probably but I'm still hanging on...But that's not the problem. The problem is the burner on my kettle at the brewpub needs regular servicing due to a delicate ignition system that on good days keeps me from blowing myself up, but on bad days will not light...or worse yet, lights and then fails during the grain mash..Last night it failed midway through...
Burner failures always remind me of aviation movies and some Star Trek episodes..."We're going in!!!", "I can't hold her!!!", "Cap'n, I don't know how much more of this we can take!!!"...I have a limited time to bring it back on line or I have to trash the mash...some one ton of water and grain (very hot water) and no way to pack out that much product UP from the basement...So to say I'm motivated is an understatement...Before financial cutbacks we paid a guy $125 buck an hour to do this job proactively...This was money very well spent because it kept me off of my belly. But now, "It's your brewery, you take care of it"...
I have to open the back of the burner (hot) and contort myself into an opening that is almost just big enough for me...but not quite.I have to lay on my belly, squirm through the opening, bring both arms (one at a time) over my head so I can reach the auto-thermal couple device. I have to keep my face down in the sooty concrete floor so as to avoid touching the top of my head to the one-quarter stainless steel floor of the kettle that is all that is holding back the ton of hot water and grain...so far, it has never failed...
I did have the presence of mind to put my Bob Seeger Live double album cd in the player, knowing that it could be awhile...I have to have music when I'm stressed...
...So as I'm blindly groping for the part I'm trying to remove 2 screws and 2 clips from, I'm listening to Bob belting out "I feel like a number", while I'm trying not to think about all of misbehaving enzymes and proteins in the mash above my warm scalp. These critters need time and temperature to make them behave...once the heat goes away, they are free to run amok and couple with any other random enzyme or protein that catches their eye...resulting in eventual bad flavors in the beer that I will be able to do nothing about...But I got it out in record time...just shy of 20 minutes...rushed it to the workbench to scrub excess carbon buildup, readjust the gap and dive back under the kettle to put it back in...and hope that it works...It always takes a minute or more to put it back in than it did to take it out...I have to get the screw holes lined up just right...
As I'm putting it back in and hoping that it will work the first time (it doesn't always)..I'm thinking of the $125 an hour I'm NOT getting for doing this work..In addition to the fact that when we had the guy come do this, the kettle was empty and cool...no worries what the enzymes are doing behind your back (and above your head)...I suddenly flash on a scene from "The Elephant Man", with me as the put upon brewer trying to shield myself from the slings and arrows of mis-Management..."I am NOT a plumber, I am a human being!!!"
Well, it did work, the brew was saved and seems to have no evidence of future bad fragrances brought on by randy enzymes...
...I don't know why I decided to share this episode, except that it was probably the best damn thing that happened to me yesterday (not a good day really) and I am a bit proud that it was accomplished under duress without 3 smoke breaks and a free lunch...Maybe I should be a plumber... VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Thanks for the comment. I know you're right. It's just annoying. But hey its sad to think someone else is living their life through mine. Sad. I didn't realize I was so interesting