machinex13

Don't you just feel like such a dork when you feel lonely? I mean, theres the experience itself of being lonely which is unpleasant but then that leads to all sorts of other thoughts. You start thinking, why am i alone? I see other people who are just losers and they arent alone so i must be some kinda of extraspecial loser. So basically it all comes back to a lack of self as the reason for being alone, hence self-loathing. And then after you've been down and depressed long enough you just look around and try to rationalize, "well it's not so bad being alone, you can listen to what you want and do what you want whenever you want" but its all so shallow cause no one wants to be alone this much. Then after all this BS has been gone through you just realize how big of a loser you are for over analyzing everything to death. That just all feels so corny to me, like i can't believe i have to go through all that darn near everyday. Oh well, maybe it's just me.

I swear i will put a picture up soon, i have a cam, but theres no hurry since i am UG-LEE. I have also tried for a while to figure why i write all this insane stuff and i realize its just for a better understanding of myself, no matter what it makes anyone who reads it think of me.

Oh well, whatever, nevermind
james

Current Music -
Missing Persons - Walking In LA,
Paz Lenchantin - TV Snow,
Nirvana - Dumb