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machinefuck

Is where the heart is.

Member Since 2009

Followers 151 Following 164

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Tuesday Jan 19, 2010

Jan 19, 2010
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Life as of 1/19/10
---------------------

+I don't think I've ever felt this way about someone before you Magic. How curious that the heart can long for someone whom I have yet to meet. I hope we do soon. Please don't think or feel like I am pressuring you into anything. I know you need time- take as much as you need. Just know that the gravity of how much I care for and about you is immense.

+NAMM was pretty cool. You can check out the videos from it at MECHAMECCA because I'm too lazy to upload all of'em to SG haha.

-My grandfather had another stroke yesterday. It doesn't look good. I kind of feel guilty because I've only met him a couple of times in my life and know that I am probably a lot less upset than my mother is. Or that I would probably be a lot more upset if it were Oma (my grandma) because I've spent my whole life with her. Admitting this makes me feel like a bad person. I am still upset though.

-I wish I could live in the moment. But how is someone who is goal-driven and oriented supposed to do that? I can never tell. Perhaps one day.

-I love music, but sometimes I get a sense of how empty and meaningless what I do is. It's a very frightening thing to feel.

+Today, I shall write my goals of the year. One of which is to truly enjoy, embrace and live through my sexual nature. I feel like most of my life, I have felt guilty about it and tried to ignore it or shove it aside; cease people from knowing that it's such a significant part of my life. Why? The reasons, I feel, are many and ultimately my fault. But not matter how this makes me look or how this sounds, I truly feel like being a member of SG has helped me grow immensely as an individual- especially when embracing this aspect of my identity and self. Thank you.


Though we may have not met, a friend is a friend and I love you all.
J
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
just12345:
i'm tired of sleeping alone too well i have the pup so at least umm i have his little warmness to comfort me but the joy of having my Husband snoring away right beside me and stealing the covers... yeah i very much so missed that frown
Jan 21, 2010
machinefuck:
Tuesdae: I'm pretty good, just sick [aka gluten-allergy]. Been asking myself a lot of questions lately

Barely: Hahaha, fo' sho. I'm excited for it! I think it'll be fun.

Wifer: Why is he not there? Or is this old news and I just have no idea?
Jan 21, 2010

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