machiavel

Well lets see.............I am in pre-production for a show that I am directing, I am hoping it comes out well. The costume designs kick ass, but I fear the school will not be able to realize them in the time that they have allotted to build them. I have moved to Takoma Park Maryland. Its nice here so far, and I have a coop within walking distance which makes me and my various semi-healthy, somewhat sweet addictions very happy. I have been cooking lots, I have a love/hate relationship with my food, it is very reflective of all my creative endeavors. Some days I feel like I can do some incredible things, others, not so sure. I am still searching for something in my life, and I am not sure what it is. Many years ago I distilled it down to a search for what I am supposed to do, destined if you like, where I am supposed to fit? Like I will find ultimate enlightment when I stumble upon it, but alas I think it may not exist. I guess in some ways I am looking for home; an artistic home, an emotional home, a safe home.....just HOME. I feel like I am getting closer, but there are huge steps backward at times. There are times when I am in touch with my core self. I like that person very much, but that "child" in me hides out of fear. Keeps me from breathing. It is a dark black angry hard road indeed. At times I feel like the little Alien in "Men in Black" It's a sily film, so I don't know why the image has stuck with me. The scene is close to the begining, an alien is killed, Will Smith and T.L. Jones are at the morgue. One of them presses a button on the body of the Alien, and his seemingly large body opens to reveal a very small creature inside piloting the controls of this robot alien. I feel like the little guy. When I am in flow everything is good, when not, the Alien robot body is rusty and resistant to command. Blah blah blah......What is HOME to you?