Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

macbastard

El Cajon

Member Since 2002

Followers 113 Following 64

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Friday Mar 26, 2004

Mar 26, 2004
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
I have the absoulte worst luck with women. It probably has to do with something within myself. However I choose to turn a blind eye to any discrepency I may have and blame the universe for being out to get me.

You see the universe does not want me to date, make out, raise a faimly, have the sex or any combination of the above. Why? I don't know Im not sure. Mabye I screwed up an awsome planatary alighment when I was born. Or fucked up the earths rotation once when I fell down as a kid. The piont is is that the blackness of space aint digging my sexual chilly. Now I know you people are going to be SHOCKED by this but: it even fucks with my mastabatory habits. (Oh the pun. I am a witmaster)

EVERY time I buy porn, No matter how long I look. How much I carefully scan the back covers or paruse the "top 25" section. I come away (PUN!) with somthing just stupid and pretty unhelpful to my ding-dong love time.

My most recent purchese was an adult video by the name "Kumikazie" (PUN!) It really seems so simple but I missed it entirely. See its entirely made up of Aisian girls. Well DUH! Yeah...But I totally didn't get that from the title. I like aisian girls fine. But I didn't really want 4 hours of them.

Another purchese was a gem called "Cum dumpsters." Im not entirely sure what wounderful tastful love scens I expected with a title like that, but the entire 2 hour viedo was cut into 1 minute clips of money shots. And pretty gooey/gross ones at that. Now I don't know about you folks, But I sort of like my porn scene to have a begginig middle and an end. It gives me some time to date myself and get to know myself better before I go all the way.

Thanks universe. I hope you choke and die.

Macpornfailure
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
rojo:
i heard a rumor that the universe was indeed created solely for the purpose of torturing you with bad porn. and you just can't fuck with nature.
fortunately, satan created suicide girls.
Mar 29, 2004
kimmi:
*Satan*
Mar 31, 2004

More Blogs

  • 04.26.04
    20

    Monday Apr 26, 2004

    3 days of awsomeness. GRIN. In three weeks More awsomeness... Ma…
  • 04.08.04
    13

    Thursday Apr 08, 2004

    Someone on this site is going to get a good long kiss from me very so…
  • 04.04.04
    3

    Sunday Apr 04, 2004

    Bleek blook blook. Will this week change my life? Probably not. Bu…
  • 03.31.04
    4

    Wednesday Mar 31, 2004

    FUCK. And not in the good way. M
  • 03.26.04
    15

    Friday Mar 26, 2004

    I have the absoulte worst luck with women. It probably has to do with…
  • 03.21.04
    6

    Sunday Mar 21, 2004

    Sleeeeeeeeeeeep. I need sleeeeeeeep. And love. Who will give me this …
  • 03.08.04
    16

    Monday Mar 08, 2004

    Thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday. 30. I can no longer fli…
  • 03.02.04
    24

    Tuesday Mar 02, 2004

    Writting writting writting tonight I go out to celebrate mine and my …
  • 02.28.04
    6

    Saturday Feb 28, 2004

    Oh shit yeah. The carottn I am creating will now be partnered with a …
  • 02.24.04
    9

    Tuesday Feb 24, 2004

    Rain stars sky trees. Sand salt wind earth. soil rock mold breath. bl…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
7
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,120,690 followers
  • 14,920,095 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,391,142 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo