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m_bethany

damned lost angel from venice beach

Member Since 2004

Followers 219 Following 175

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Friday Dec 17, 2004

Dec 17, 2004
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JOURNAL:

for my ex.. how I feel and where I am right now...

Rosemary
Heaven restores you in life
Coming with me
Through the aging, the fear and the strife
It's the smiling on the package
It's the faces in the sand
It's the thought that holds you upwards
Embracing me with two hands
Write, we'll take you places
Yeah maybe to the beach
When your friends they do come crying
Tell them how your pleasure's set up on slow-release

Hey wait
Great smile
Sensitive to faith not
Denial
But hey whose on trial?

It took a life spent
With no cellmate
The long way back
Saying meanwhile can't we look the other way?

He speaks about travel
Yeah, we think about the land
We smile like all people
Feeling real tan
I can take you places
Do you need a new man?
Wipe the pollen from the faces
Make revision to a dream while you wait in the van

Hey wait
Great smile
Sensitive to faith not
Denial
But hey whose on trial?

It took a life spent
With no cellmate
Find a long way back
Saying meanwhile can't we look the other way?
You're weightless, you are exotic
You need something for which to care
Saying meanwhile can't we look the other way?

Leave some shards under the belly
Lay some grease inside my hand
It's a sentimental jury
And the makings of a good plan
You've come to love me nightly
Yeah you've come to hold me tight
Is this motion everlasting
Or do shutters pass in the night?

Rosemary
Oh heaven restores you in life
I spent a lifespan with no cellmate
The long way back
Saying meanwhile can't we look the other way?
You're weightless, semi-erotic
You need someone to take you there
Saying meanwhile can't we look the other way?
Why can't we just play the other game?
Why can't we just look the other way?


I feel like some of the world is fake to me. Like I am being fooled. And I am so wise to it I doubt myself.

biggrin what can I say? I love the man I am involved with, the ex is trying to get back into my life. I said no. I gave him an earfull. And now is best friend is (one of the roomies next week in silverlake before xmas) telling me he wants to reunite. No fucking way. Are you fucking kidding me?!?

I love him. I know I do. But he replaced me with her, he replaces her with me. No. Not going to happen. Staying in Hollywood. He and I discussed what needs to change - he is aware! No what? I do my thing, as usual.

I love my new roomies. they are awesome people and compliment me in every way. the wife and I chill and shop, do the girl thing, go hiking, etc. - the husband and I do museums (next is Museum of Tolerence in W.LA if anyone wants to go in the beginning of January) and talk for hours, watch his LAW & ORDER as well as UFO FILES while we discuss science versus logic. so smart and intelligent, both of them. cannot wait to see their kids.

I am sitting in my buddy in echo park guy's house, still awake. 2 months and I crumble. Oh well, no work today but the bills and checks, should go get those. they are watching porn, I do not get it. I like to make it, not watch it. I like the action personally, not spectator like them. fine, they are just as fucked up as I am - whatever works. wink

This is how I imagined it. Night with the close friends, chilling, mutual masterbation (me with my man, the wife with hers, the guy on his own... mostly) and lots of good talks. I like THESE nights, not the benders at places uncomfortable we have to leave at a certain hour... hotels suck for that!

my man prince charming and I are going to see each other saturday... after I get off work - and go get waxed! I need it... just made some extra dough.. going to save until January rent is paid, then I get the passport. :le sigh: I miss him. I have avoided sex with everyone just to keep true to him, and TRUST ME - there have been some challenges. With the ex, the youngin', and the echo park guy on me, the end is none. oh well, I better enjoy it while it lasts.

thanks for the comments. I want to make this a "must read" again, working on the journalism credit. might want to let me know what keeps you all coming back. okay? that will help me improve and put in what you care about reading.

too many friends visiting during the holidays. in the military - good thing my sis is just signing the deed of ownership and a nice sized morgage on a condo in Hawaii... 7 months and I have paradise to go to! rent free!

business is the major. any suggestions for a decent degree and a low enough but respectable program for tuition and a transfer student? cannot wait...

january, mid to late - a coming home party for me at my new pad. the new roomies want me to make better money than at the restuarant (Nichols Restaurant btw if you want to improve my tips... let me know if you are coming though! - last thing I need is someone asking for "angel0diablo"). So, to solve all excuses, my party is going to be a bartender training party so the wife's friend is going to train me a bit then let me go.. $10 or 2 bottle of good liqour you want to drink or mixers to get in the door... let me know or just watch my journal for the invite...

other than that, fine. work is good.. went in the other day a little stoned still (did not know the stregnth of what I had) and told them I had my eyes dialated... I was not high still but I was still blood-shot and diolated... bad times with blue eyes.. opps. might have to, again, back off on that one.. soon enough.

I think when I have the own room and freedom I want, it will fade with the commute. Cheers to new places, new friends in old, and new surroundings with endless possibilities! wink

and cheers to LOVE kiss what the hell....
:drinks wine glass:
~ the angel* wink

*lyrics above in italics: Interpol "Evil"*
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
the_cheat:
Have a Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!!

Love,
T. to the muthafuckin C. wink
Dec 22, 2004
javert:
Merry Christmas, baby, and here's to seeing you in January! kiss
Dec 22, 2004

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