JOURNAL:
I have finally channeled the inner me and realized what I have to do.
Are you ready for this one?
I am going to do whatever I damn well please.
How do you like that one?
I am going to date whomever interests me, I am going to sleep with whomever interests me (but I warn you, that means I will be more selective since I have a selection now... infact WHOMEVER), and I am going to take care of me. TAKE CARE OF ME. Me-oriented. Fuck yeah.
I want to be selfish. And I am going to be. This is going to be so much easier than worrying about what I do that affects everyone else.... did anyone else feel me being hyper-paranoid? I got bored too..
So now I am going to get to do whatever and whenever. FOR EXAMPLE: right now I just got out of the shower, I am drinking a Smirnoff Twisted Mandarin Orange, just smoked a bowl in the shower , going to cook something for me in a minute, writing in my journal. I am going to have a cigarette here pretty soon too... why? Becuase I want to.
That is so liberating. Now about the job hunt....
went of Craig's List today, applied to 12 jobs, 3 via fax - the rest email. There is one for exactly what I have been trained for: extreme personal assistant. With hours 20-40 a week at $12 - 15 and hour, and I made $14 so I am going to demand $13 start with option of raise upon a two week period if she chooses to keep me. Fair enough. It is literally "lick her ass" treatment
, but I rock at it. And it give me time for classes in the fall still making a great salary. Rock on.
So that is the one I want, the rest were bullshit part time and temperary, one for babysitting.
I think my step-dad is watching soft porn right now... since I am in the computer room and I can hear the television from in here
... but does he know that...?
Yeah, just changed the channel...
ew.
It is odd being home. But strangely refreshing.
Talked to the ex on the phone thursday while on the way home, my phone died and so did his.
"let me give you an analogy"
"okay, shoot"
"it is like you and I, we started jogging together and then, a few months into it I learn we are training for the Olympics. Now, I think 'fuck, that aint happin' anytime soon' and you are like 'um, more like next year' and I freak"
"wow, okay..."
"yeah, and so you take off since I am freaking out and, now, 6 months later I am thinking to myself, 'I have been training still and advanced so much, maybe I can do the Olympics'. But it is too late now and I am just getting the idea what you wanted and what you knew we could be"
"wow, that is a really good analogy, I think I know where you are at now"
"yeah, I hope so. Cuz I'm not telling you again"
His niece is in town.
That is why he called me, to see if I wanted to see her. I told him I would call his mom and make arrangements... she is the same age as my little sister who I have not seen in 2 years. I cannot resist.
nite nite.
~ the kelly angel*
I have finally channeled the inner me and realized what I have to do.
Are you ready for this one?
I am going to do whatever I damn well please.
How do you like that one?
I am going to date whomever interests me, I am going to sleep with whomever interests me (but I warn you, that means I will be more selective since I have a selection now... infact WHOMEVER), and I am going to take care of me. TAKE CARE OF ME. Me-oriented. Fuck yeah.
I want to be selfish. And I am going to be. This is going to be so much easier than worrying about what I do that affects everyone else.... did anyone else feel me being hyper-paranoid? I got bored too..
So now I am going to get to do whatever and whenever. FOR EXAMPLE: right now I just got out of the shower, I am drinking a Smirnoff Twisted Mandarin Orange, just smoked a bowl in the shower
, going to cook something for me in a minute, writing in my journal. I am going to have a cigarette here pretty soon too... why? Becuase I want to.
That is so liberating. Now about the job hunt....
went of Craig's List today, applied to 12 jobs, 3 via fax - the rest email. There is one for exactly what I have been trained for: extreme personal assistant. With hours 20-40 a week at $12 - 15 and hour, and I made $14 so I am going to demand $13 start with option of raise upon a two week period if she chooses to keep me. Fair enough. It is literally "lick her ass" treatment
, but I rock at it. And it give me time for classes in the fall still making a great salary. Rock on.
So that is the one I want, the rest were bullshit part time and temperary, one for babysitting.
I think my step-dad is watching soft porn right now... since I am in the computer room and I can hear the television from in here
... but does he know that...?
Yeah, just changed the channel...
ew.
It is odd being home. But strangely refreshing.
Talked to the ex on the phone thursday while on the way home, my phone died and so did his.
"let me give you an analogy"
"okay, shoot"
"it is like you and I, we started jogging together and then, a few months into it I learn we are training for the Olympics. Now, I think 'fuck, that aint happin' anytime soon' and you are like 'um, more like next year' and I freak"
"wow, okay..."
"yeah, and so you take off since I am freaking out and, now, 6 months later I am thinking to myself, 'I have been training still and advanced so much, maybe I can do the Olympics'. But it is too late now and I am just getting the idea what you wanted and what you knew we could be"
"wow, that is a really good analogy, I think I know where you are at now"
"yeah, I hope so. Cuz I'm not telling you again"
His niece is in town.
That is why he called me, to see if I wanted to see her. I told him I would call his mom and make arrangements... she is the same age as my little sister who I have not seen in 2 years. I cannot resist.
nite nite.
~ the kelly angel*
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Hopefully we'll up real soon!
Is it cool if I bring some buddies to tag along tonight?? My friend Vince (you met him at Burlesque) and Carlos....YES THE CRUSHBOY!!! He wants to come...and boy will I make him come...lol....
DS.GDSA;G;SFDGB;FAJGBJFGB;FGFDGBDAFJGBFDJGBFD;JGB;FDSGBF;JGBDGB;FDJGBFDJGBD;JGFD
Ok...sorry...hehehe...
Is that cool though?? I'll call you later on today...what time should I come down???