m_bethany

JOURNAL:

Thank god I have had some response.

some of my works;

It is not that I cannot change
I've been thru all I want to (at this point)
It's not that I don't care but my cards do not add up.
for me and your expectations....

{Chorus}
I need to let go
I have to let go
if I do not, you will drag me down.
I know I will hate you.
{But in the end it is just as well...}

I am not the one for you it is clear
you will see eventually
i like that you love me but that is not enough for me...
I try and try to be the one
How could I be that much for you?

(spoken) :
Won't fall again unless I know for sure...
Won't let myself go unless I know for sure...

I like that he loves me
he does not know how to make it happen
I try and try to make our lives
but he does not appreciate planning
I want to be his - doesn't he see?

BRIDGE:
how much his lovin' mean to me
I have crossed all the lines I know
and still he does not know for sure...

CHORUS

I draw his attentions to draw his boundries
I teach him again of the intamacy he has seen with me
I know he is not the one... but why does it hurt so much?
What if he is? What do I do with you....

I am not the one for you it is clear
you will see eventually
i like that you love me but that is not enough for me...
I try and try to be the one
How could I be that much for you?

CHORUS

I refuse to sacrific all i am for him....
does that make me the wrong one?


*********************************
so raw but true.
*********************************
i'm smoking a cigarette
I am thinking about your face
i know you aren't here but it does not stop me from trying...
I am wanting to hurt you, that is why I am here
fuck you for wanting
stop giving me the power dear.

CHORUS:
IF breaking up is hard to do
then we are in denial
fuck someone else that hurts
revenge is served cold

I loved you like I never thought
and thats the pain I mute
I want to hurt you, that is why i keep on trying
stop giving me a reason, I don't want a reason

CHORUS

I want to be mute and dumb
I want to be oblivious to you
She wants to be oblivious to ME
Do you see where she doesn't see me?

CHORUS

want to forget,
cant we forget
and let it go...
********************************

whoever can use these lyrics, let us talk.

Music should be addressed... please help me find my lyrical hideaway.... I want to write for people... anyone?

~ the angel*

My brother turns 18 today. He will be free of juvinile detention and only on probation for a month. The economy of California is to blame, but I honestly hope he succeeds. He needs it, and he wants it. My parents show him no respect and I told him that he needs to succeed by himself. My sister did and she is a Captain in the Armed Forces to esape our family. "If nothing else, " I told him, "succeed because no one else expects you to, and that is the best revenge. Rock on."

He is free tomorrow. I need to see him. I am going to call him in the afternoon. Even though I have been "girlfriend" to my married couple for their relationship improvement over the weekend (yeah, it rocked.. all weekend), I am still worried. How am I to be an example for him? I guess just by support..

gawd willing, I want him to graduate before me... he will rock that and I am willing to take the brand, FINE. Let him rock success from nothing, that will kick my father's ass to the pedistool to admit his lack of love. Fuck off,.... biotch. I love my bro. Couldn't be prouder.