m_bethany

JOURNAL:

So I am still having fun by posting pics on the site. I hope you all are enjoying them. I went to a fetish club called Club Blue on saturday night with my roomie. It really was awesome, part of me wanted to go up on stage and have the guy throw me around for a little while.... he kept handling this girl like a doll, catching her by the neck and shoving her down, making her forcefully respect him, but all in character (whips and chains, bondage - hot) - they were actually friends. I have pics to post but the camera is really low quality (it is a camera phone).

So yeah, I am a lily white (french vanilla as my ex called me) angel in the bedroom looking for someone to introduce me to the ALT lifestyle and all its pains & pleasures. My ex did not have the balls to do it, he did not want to be responsable for my exposure. But I still want it.... any takers?

Work is killing me, I am actually kicking ass at it and trying to not piss off too many people when I say my boss is out of town for a month and they have to leave a message and wait for a call back sometime THIS WEEK. My clients are used to getting phone calls back that day, but the partner I am helping right now is not used to handling the scheduling and multi-tasking needed to run this place. It will be difficult for the next few weeks, but my out of town bosses deserve the vacation and I am also leaving the business at the end of the month. Too bad they get to come back all refreshed and find out they are loosing their only assistant to all of them. Shit, that is going to suck for them. But they have been in Bali and Austrilia for a month... eh.

Yes, I am moving out of Venice for awhile. I am not going far, my step-dad lives in Upland, which is the ritz-y part of Ontario - and I have not lived there since I was beginning my junior year of high school. It is going to be wierd moving home (even though it was home only for 2 years, but he is the only person that I call a parent so it is home) because I feel like I am admitting defeat... but really, I am just admitting that I need help and that asshole of a president has put my economic situation from the back burner to an immediate problem. AKA I cannot work 7 days a week and attend school part time - been doing it for 4 years since I moved out and its killing me. I should not look my age, you know?

So I am going home, but I am also moving in to help my step-dad out with keeping his house and taking care of my puppies, Porshe and Beemer; one black and one white - teacup cocapoos (cockerspaniel & poodle mix). They are 19 and 18, so old but still alive so it would be nice for me to spend their last years with them. I miss them anyway. My step-dad is also starting a multi-milllion dollar investment company that is going to supply 100% waste-free environmentally friendly car washes for city trucks, civilian vehicles, and large construction vehicles... basically anything that gets dirty on 4 or more wheels. So he needs me to help him out here and there, probably same work just not consistant as my 9-5er is now. I have been at this company for 4 years (since I moved out) and I love them but it is time to go.

I am going to go back to school full time at Mount Sak in Pomona and finish my damn degree. Also, I am only working 3-4 days a week (since lower expenses) and I am going to spend the month of August before school begins just laying by the pool, smoking a little ganja maybe, and kicking it. I just want to work on my tan, I have not had the opprotunity to do NOTHING during summer vacation since I was 15. I think it is time for some down chilling style kicking it for me.

This boy I know that I used to go to high school with found out that I have no boy (official or unoffical) and he is trying to get me to come out to his place in Las Vegas for the weekend. Next weekend, not this past (can you imagine the nightmare of Vegas on July 4th? Scary), but he is so ready to hit it. I want to have him hit it (it has been a few weeks man, shut up!) but I am not going to let it happen until I feel its right... basically if he approaches me properly and he is a good kisser, we are in business. I have wanted him too long anyway, so whatevs.

Lately I have been having fantasies about the guys around me that are attached. Good example, my friends - the married couple I hooked up with a few times - the husband I really just want him to go to town on me. And I am friends with them - he might if I approached it properly (very important people, approach!) but that is fucked up to fuck with a marriage... but, on the other hand, I do owe him since a few months ago I fooled around with only his wife (without him, he was in Texas at the time). FUCK IT. I can't justify it, I am not that evil.

YET.

Also have been thinking about my ex from high school who now has been with his chica since 2001 and he and I have cheated together (I was dating his best friend for awhile so it was a twisted square) and he is so good for a fuck.... but I love his girlfriend dearly and I cannot do that to them. But I am also scared since I am moving home that, since they are my close friends out there, we might get into a situation where I am drunk, she isn't around, shit goes down and stuff.... it has happened. And I so want it to happen again. Mmmmm.... just thinking about it makes me hot. Yeah.

I AM A LITTLE EVIL NOW AIN'T I?

So yeah, that is it. You want a weekend summary? Fine.

Saw Spiderman 2 at the Archlight in Hollywood "in the Dome" (its special for accoustic I think) with my married friends and loved it so much! I am very impressed and Toby can lick my box any day of the week... unless Vigo gets to me first. Kirsten Dunst I am not biggest fan of but the red hair works for her and she did not ruin the movie like she did a bit last time. I love Toby, did I mention that?

I also did some fun stuff like drink a shit load and got high on some stuff and was basically a party animal, hit the Standard on sunday night for a short while and then konked out around 2:30am. Totally have to hit the gym today because I did not go at all the last 3 days and I feel like shit because of it. You know, you know?

Might meet for drinks withprintgod tomorrow night, I like entrepenuers very much apparently. I also have had some interest in pictures so my friend Matt is going to come over soon as take some shots of me cleaning my shower... I think it would be a good set, me in my wifebeater and boxers, cute underwear, show off my tattoo with baking soda and softscrub to battle my enemy - the mildew and soap scum. Oh yeah, thats hot.

BTW - if you all have a band or something and you have a show, I can always show up and maybe grab some friend to show up as well. I would enjoy it, and I love bands, especially ones with chemistry you can feel in the groove. Rock and Roll baby, but I have a love for all preforming artists, including poets. I would like to personally attend a reading and read some of my stuff too, get some feedback. Maybe it will get me writing poetry again...

Luckily for me, my head has blocked most damaging and saddening thoughts of my ex (basically most everything) most of the weekend. But last night, when I got home after 2.5 large sake bottles to myself at Miyagi's on Sunset, I THINK I text messaged him to come over and fuck me. But I have a new phone now (hence camera phone) and I do not know how to check history. So I don't KNOW but I remember trying to figure it out. How damaging would that be? He did, however, send me a text that said "Happy 4th" on sunday so I think it is safe to assume that he got my email and things are cool for the moment. But still, I might of fucked it up thanks to sake.... bastards. I just love that shit though!

So that is it. No more, that is plenty. Happy reading.....

Mahalo lovers. No lesson today.... Haven't learned anything yet.
~the angel*