his back is turned to me but I know he feels me.
the comfort for me to hold him from behind, to cuddle him
my arms wrapped around, holding on in assurence.
"this feels good" I think to myself
wondering how long I have waited for this comfort.
damn this feeling, I need to wind down.
too bad he sleeps soundlessly while I struggle to remain
my writing calls me, the inspration spilling down the sides
my cup may runth over but the machine is running low on juice
must... scribe.
no, the experience is too fresh, too new. what if I forget all the wonderful details tomorrow?
relax, smoke a bowl, and have patience.
you were referred to as Shanti once, remember? she is your guide.
besides, your fear of the loss of writing time is wrong...
you should fear leaving any moment of his warmth away from your body.
hesitation. not a normal reaction but effective. shower excuse.
why do I fear sleeping next to him like this?
we just connected, reconnected, spoke freely, and settled in for the night
why do I retire away from him - so far it is considered another wing?
why am I sitting on my machine of labor and love away from HIM?
fear.
that mindfuck again.
He mentioned feeling good about our relationship.
Good.
He brought up pulling our physical off the shelf for a month. Actually, my being chaste for that month.
Considered, willing to explore further.
Wants to establish repeatedly that we are friends first.
Fine, that is the truth.
Concerned for me, worried about my disposition in the world.
Understandable. I am progressing however...
Admitted but still feels in his soul "poor kelly".
Oh no you d'n't.
after a runthrough of my influence on the last few weeks, this is thrown out there.
"I feel after being around all you girls [I introduced him to some girls since I have known him who have helped recently in his drug experimentation, including me] I realize that... I should just get married, settle down and have kids."
my only undecided reaction was this: does that mean he wants to (cuz this is the first I have heard of it), he just decided he should, and does that include me? the way I took it, I was not sure - which leaves it at 50/50.
my lifestyle has gotten old. like a marriage. average marriage in the US is 5-7 years, my relationship with my party habits is at 6 years this october. It might be about break up time.
might be heading to visit NYC thanks to a true slave I know I will adore. Yeah, I miss it so.
Chastity might not be that bad. But I can kiss this tank top good bye for a bit.
the comfort for me to hold him from behind, to cuddle him
my arms wrapped around, holding on in assurence.
"this feels good" I think to myself
wondering how long I have waited for this comfort.
damn this feeling, I need to wind down.
too bad he sleeps soundlessly while I struggle to remain
my writing calls me, the inspration spilling down the sides
my cup may runth over but the machine is running low on juice
must... scribe.
no, the experience is too fresh, too new. what if I forget all the wonderful details tomorrow?
relax, smoke a bowl, and have patience.
you were referred to as Shanti once, remember? she is your guide.
besides, your fear of the loss of writing time is wrong...
you should fear leaving any moment of his warmth away from your body.
hesitation. not a normal reaction but effective. shower excuse.
why do I fear sleeping next to him like this?
we just connected, reconnected, spoke freely, and settled in for the night
why do I retire away from him - so far it is considered another wing?
why am I sitting on my machine of labor and love away from HIM?
fear.
that mindfuck again.
He mentioned feeling good about our relationship.
Good.
He brought up pulling our physical off the shelf for a month. Actually, my being chaste for that month.
Considered, willing to explore further.
Wants to establish repeatedly that we are friends first.
Fine, that is the truth.
Concerned for me, worried about my disposition in the world.
Understandable. I am progressing however...
Admitted but still feels in his soul "poor kelly".
Oh no you d'n't.
after a runthrough of my influence on the last few weeks, this is thrown out there.
"I feel after being around all you girls [I introduced him to some girls since I have known him who have helped recently in his drug experimentation, including me] I realize that... I should just get married, settle down and have kids."
my only undecided reaction was this: does that mean he wants to (cuz this is the first I have heard of it), he just decided he should, and does that include me? the way I took it, I was not sure - which leaves it at 50/50.
my lifestyle has gotten old. like a marriage. average marriage in the US is 5-7 years, my relationship with my party habits is at 6 years this october. It might be about break up time.
might be heading to visit NYC thanks to a true slave I know I will adore. Yeah, I miss it so.
Chastity might not be that bad. But I can kiss this tank top good bye for a bit.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
my lifestyle has gotten old. like a marriage. average marriage in the US is 5-7 years, my relationship with my party habits is at 6 years this october. It might be about break up time.
I FEEL ya.