m0use

In an effort to move along from last night's post.

I still have just enough time to decide if i want to go to SGBoston tonight. I have my car back, thank goodness, but i don't know that i am up to it. Besides, "I would go out tonight but i haven't got a stitch to wear" Ugh, and i don't.

It's that dreadful "less than a week 'til my birthday" time of the year, and i'm at that dreadful crossroads where i need to decide if i want to live long enough to make it. Not quite 'One year in every ten', more like one in every 6. But still. Oh nothing so dramatic or attention-whoring meant by this. I'm just talking. That's what journals are for.

So, yeah. Tonight. Go to SGBoston, kill self, or play Shadows of Undrentine with the boys all night. It's the last night i have off before a good friend of ours and important member of the Axium family returns home to CT where we all came from.
I just don't know if i can be social. What if i make a mess? An emotional one, i mean. I might get weird, and either withdraw or get kinda crazy and then start thinking how ugly and unlikable i am and that everyone hates me and next thing i know i'm in a corner or a bathroom somewhere crying.
It could happen. You don't know.
(Again i have to stress that this is not one of THOSE journal entries that needs to be brought to anyone's attention or whatever. It's just my journal and i'm just writing in it)