Yay! You're finally born and can get a huge lung-full of fresh cold air through your own little button nose!
Your head weighs a ton though and your arms and legs are stubby useless fat rubbery things that make it hard to roll over
If you're lucky you get taken home by some lovely giant people that pay enough attention to you that you don't have to do fuck all all day besides open your eyes eat and relieve yourself where you lay
Sleep all day unless you have asshole pets or siblings that constantly try to 'play'
Grow like a chia pet
If you're lucky you'll even get warm clothes that will get changed for you periodically even when you don't soil them yourself, but when you do, soil yourself, and they don't notice your indignity immediately, feel free to scream like a banshee
Plus.. titties to suck on until you puke! Or you politely refuse
7
Those first 7 were tough but you made it
Long gone are meals direct from someone else's body but if you're lucky they are still free, yummy, warm an numer at least 3 daily
You might have a vague understanding of what work is unless you're forced to do chores or worse
Your main job though is still not soiling yourself while secondary things like education and co-ordination take up most of your attention
Socializing is important too if you're allowed to see other people your age and have access to the outside world
7
Hair
Hair over here other there even down there.. Everywhere..
Body setting up new features for its final form
Those last 7 more years were probably a blur
Other people are far more interesting than they used to be or are far more irritating as you're probably capable of conversating with adults as well as kids your own age
Joints might not be quite right and sense of balance isn't what it used to be since the body is bigger than it was before
Education should be a major priority in your life because by now you should have a firm grasp on the fact that you know nothing about the world and you have a few good years to catch yourself up on everything you need to know to be a hero, or villain, or with you want to be, but you'll probably forget again and change your mind by the time you wake up tomorrow
If your parents are still around and aren't already sick if you you might still have a great safe place to call home
Mostly it's where your best stuff is
7
Your body is near its full form and if you're lucky you can still enjoy the simplest things in life
Your basic education might already be complete and if you're lucky you can concentrate on better education that'll give you something interesting to do for the rest of your life
Hopefully you're keen enough to be thinking ahead at this point like what career you want and when you might want to retire so you can start saving up for it
If not and you're already a parent to another human being you'd better be good at multitasking
Arguably the 3 sets of 7 years you've packed on have gone by well and you're healthy and strong
If you're already earning money you can spend it on entertainment it drink it and can probably survive on your own
7
By now your body is most likely quite mature and you've made enough money to feel secure and stable
If you're lucky you've found at least 1 other human to be with
You might have pets and kids and cars and books and a house and other responsibilities
You're no stranger to stress and methods to decompress when you need to
Hopefully you've already saved a bunch for a rainy day and there haven't been too many already
7
Some of your kids might be grown and might be well on their way to leaving home and starting life out on their own
Hopefully your career has grown many fold from when it started and there's only up from here
If you're lucky you can already retire and focus on new pursuits that mean more to you than grinding at gears
If not hopefully it isn't just an afterthought and it's something in the future that's still clear
7
Hopefully all of life's questions have satisfactory answers for you by now
You're either the boss of you or it's a goal that pretty near
Your car is nicer your house is bigger and you know most of the people in the neighborhood
If you haven't had too much trouble with love you still have someone else with you too
Retirement savings are finally adequate and you can even think about downsizing to live a more practical lifestyle
7
Your body is getting old but hopefully it's still in good shape
If they aren't gone already or you've been suckered into taking them out their children back in your house isn't too empty
You really want to retire if you can
7
Retirement is calling if it isn't already in full swing if you're still among the living
Your body really isn't what it used to be even if you've taken good care of it
The mind might also be showing its age if you're not already crazy
7
If you haven't retired by now things aren't going well at all
Your body is old and things that were springy and taught are getting shriveled and small
Friends have come and gone and there's probably too many weeds on the lawn
You want to still get everything done but sometimes there's just not enough hours in the day for it all
If you're lucky you get help from the kids and grand babbies if they aren't too busy at the mall to visit or at least call
7
You're pretty much at the end of your life expectancy and if you're not already dead then the reality of your morality might be keeping you up at night worrying while tossing and turning in a possibly large and empty bed
You've most likely outlived or forgotten your childhood friends and lovers and even some of your own kids
If you're lucky you haven't burned through that retirement savings and there's still money somewhere or someone nice enough to look out for you
7
Again if you aren't already dead you've been doing this right up to this point and you might consider your life to have been well lived
All these kids these days are doing weird ass shit that makes no damned sense and would have gotten them beaten or arrested back in your day
If you're lucky your house is still in good condition and you're able to still move around of your own volition
7s and 7s more until death
Damn what the hell kind of good genes did you inherit and lucky sevens have you been rolling?!