Spread
As a virgin the term Fuck Friend is my button. I hate the word and everything it means. I don't understand the concept. I work so hard to make friends and help people.. and fuckers just slide right on up in there and fuck with people.
Fuck Friend. At once the easiest and most fun interpersonal relationship... Spread defines it as a relationship with no expectations. It's candy. Candy for adults. Entire lives built around porn. Meaningless and destructive.
I could care less about successful fuck friends.. I have to say it just isn't how I was raised.
Now as far as all that being said.. SG mentioned Spread. I had to see it. The seed was sewn.
But it wasn't until, in passing, that while walking along on the college campus that the words were uttered to the effect of a grenade going off five feet above the ground just shy of my right ear, from the sweetest voice... etc.. that of course my world gets turned over.
Which is only par for the course given the last 2+ years of adulthood which I'd like to just forget ever happened.
anyhow, as posted on Facebook:
Because i have never, do not, and never will understand why people seem to be to shallow and disgusting. Instead i like to see the beauty and potential in them beyond the surface. Yes it leads to a skewed perspective and makes interpersonal relationships impossible.. and awkward.. at the end of the day i don't need to look introspectively back on how badly I failed most of them, or how many I helped.. because they are too busy with each other for the view from my perspective to matter. I guess I'm addicted to those small compliments, and am glad of not being addicted to worship... of being totally repulsed by any type of recognition. Ashton's Nikki mentions it near the beginning, how he isn't interested in anything post coital. Why bother letting it get even that far then? Why is it that people seem driven to that moment but need to take it to such excess? Dedicating their lives to deprivation, shame, disappointment. Subsisting on candy relationships where relationships of meaning and worth are just not interesting enough to nurture and cultivate? It's critically balled movies like this that point fingers where the social consciousness is most sore. Behold it and know shame, or go back to your beds and lay.
I'm just supremely depressed despite my best efforts. It isn't my place to judge other people. I've learned the futility of it. It just reinforces how lonely an existence can be when everyone else seems to be having fun, and no one cares to hear the voice of reason. When I'm even willing to hear it all, all that they think I should. I'll swim in it for lack of anything better.. but.. what.. where.. when will it ever stop crushing in. That I am the one that is wrong. I can get over how I feel about people. That maybe eventually the passion will finally ebb and the pain will stop stabbing at me from everywhere inside and out, all of the time.
As a virgin the term Fuck Friend is my button. I hate the word and everything it means. I don't understand the concept. I work so hard to make friends and help people.. and fuckers just slide right on up in there and fuck with people.
Fuck Friend. At once the easiest and most fun interpersonal relationship... Spread defines it as a relationship with no expectations. It's candy. Candy for adults. Entire lives built around porn. Meaningless and destructive.
I could care less about successful fuck friends.. I have to say it just isn't how I was raised.
Now as far as all that being said.. SG mentioned Spread. I had to see it. The seed was sewn.
But it wasn't until, in passing, that while walking along on the college campus that the words were uttered to the effect of a grenade going off five feet above the ground just shy of my right ear, from the sweetest voice... etc.. that of course my world gets turned over.
Which is only par for the course given the last 2+ years of adulthood which I'd like to just forget ever happened.
anyhow, as posted on Facebook:
Because i have never, do not, and never will understand why people seem to be to shallow and disgusting. Instead i like to see the beauty and potential in them beyond the surface. Yes it leads to a skewed perspective and makes interpersonal relationships impossible.. and awkward.. at the end of the day i don't need to look introspectively back on how badly I failed most of them, or how many I helped.. because they are too busy with each other for the view from my perspective to matter. I guess I'm addicted to those small compliments, and am glad of not being addicted to worship... of being totally repulsed by any type of recognition. Ashton's Nikki mentions it near the beginning, how he isn't interested in anything post coital. Why bother letting it get even that far then? Why is it that people seem driven to that moment but need to take it to such excess? Dedicating their lives to deprivation, shame, disappointment. Subsisting on candy relationships where relationships of meaning and worth are just not interesting enough to nurture and cultivate? It's critically balled movies like this that point fingers where the social consciousness is most sore. Behold it and know shame, or go back to your beds and lay.
I'm just supremely depressed despite my best efforts. It isn't my place to judge other people. I've learned the futility of it. It just reinforces how lonely an existence can be when everyone else seems to be having fun, and no one cares to hear the voice of reason. When I'm even willing to hear it all, all that they think I should. I'll swim in it for lack of anything better.. but.. what.. where.. when will it ever stop crushing in. That I am the one that is wrong. I can get over how I feel about people. That maybe eventually the passion will finally ebb and the pain will stop stabbing at me from everywhere inside and out, all of the time.
As far as rewarding good feline behavior, I feel that physical affection and vocal tone are where it's at. I don't know if they understand what I am saying but I figure if the tone and words are kind and loving then they understand. My kitty seems to at least....
Thanks too for the compliment.